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r/AmITheAsshole? Asexuality Edition #6
Episode 168Time to right our past wrongs and finally officially judge the ungrateful lizard gender reveal invitee...among other r/AITA posts pertaining to Aces. Get the gavel ready.
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Are tech companies ruining your relationships before they even begin?
Episode 167According to a recent survey, nearly a quarter of iPhone users say green bubbles are a dating dealbreaker, so that’s our cue to rant about about technology and capitalism.
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There’s allegedly an Ace character in The Hangover and we hate everything
Episode 166The director of The Hangover gave a throwaway line to a reporter at the premier of the second movie which got published in a single article that no longer exists, but it made it onto Wikipedia anyway, so now we have to analyze Alan Garner as Ace Rep.
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America chose fascism and now we somehow have to find a way to live with that
Episode 165Some brief and scrambled post-election thoughts, including a few predictions for what we might expect in the next few years.
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Heartstopper just got SO much better
Episode 164Season 3 of Heartstopper finally gave us the AroAce rep we’ve been waiting for!
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Kansas Officially recognized Ace Week! ...Now what?
Episode 163Governor Laura Kelly signed a proclamation officially recognizing Ace Week in the state of Kansas! That means that in 2024, for the first time, our state acknowledged both Ace Week and Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week...so what’s next for local Aspec activism?
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Groundbreaking Aromantic & Demisexual representation in Baker Thief
Episode 162With lesser-known orientations, such as ours on the A-spectrums, we often curse the lack of representation in mainstream media or praise it when it does the bare minimum, when we SHOULD be looking at the Own Voices examples coming from talented creators within our own community who are always going to be ahead of the curve. Today we talk about Baker Thief which is all of that and more.
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Marriage Equality is a Myth
Episode 161Despite Obergefell v. Hodges legalizing same-sex marriage in 2015, we still do not have marriage equality in this country. Notably, Disabled, Ace, Aro, and Black Americans do not have equal rights and benefits under our current marriage framework.
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Was Abraham Lincoln gay?
Episode 160The new documentary ‘Lover of Men’ asks if America’s favorite president was queer. WE ask if our hunger to queer historical figures and justify these views by carefully picking and choosing some social and historical details while discarding others is simply thrusting us into a new era of limited binary thinking.
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Anne Rice’s own words on her vampires’ (lack of) sex
Episode 159Here we go again. A new round of discourse sprung up calling everyone who sees asexual representation in The Vampire Chronicles “stupid” because Anne Rice wanted to write gay vampire sex the whole time but couldn’t because it was literally illegal...so naturally, we’ve been tagged in. Here’s what the author has actually said.
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Suffering through Project 2025 training videos (Part 4)
Episode 158We did it! We finally made it through more than 14 accursed hours. Here’s the finale of what we found.
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Suffering through Project 2025 training videos (Part 3)
Episode 157More horrors lie in store for us as we continue to analyze Project 2025...
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Suffering through Project 2025 training videos (Part 2)
Episode 156Continuing on from last week, we’re commenting on some of the highlights from Project 2025 training videos 3-9.
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Suffering through Project 2025 training videos so you don’t have to (Part 1)
Episode 155ProPublica recently leaked 23 videos created for Project 2025′s Presidential Administration Academy. Today we recap and unpack their training on “Left-Wing Code Words and Language”.
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An Ace Perspective on Good Omens Part 2: Neil Gaiman, Canon, and Fandom
Episode 154For Good Omens part 2 we discuss season two of the TV show as well information about the author- including things he’s said about what is and is not canon as well as the recent allegations against him.
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An Ace Perspective on Good Omens Part 1: Exploring Aziraphale and Crowley’s Bond
Episode 153The loving yet sexless relationship between an angel and a demon resonates deeply with many in the asexual community, so let’s dive into the Good Omens TV series and talk about why that is.
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r/DnD & RPG Horror Stories: Asexuality Edition #2
Episode 152As avid players of Dungeons and Dragons, Co-DMs, and players previously scorned, we know all too well the immense joy and devastating pain that asexual players can sometimes face at the gaming table. Due to popular demand, our love of the game, and desire for DnD to be a safer hobby for our community, we’re back to analyze another round of TTRPG horror stories.
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We need to talk about JD Vance
Episode 151Trump’s VP pick has weird pronatalist policy opinions and close ties to The Heritage Foundation.
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Fine. You win. We read Chuck Tingle...
Episode 150And we’re so glad we did! Not only does Bury Your Gays have FANTASTIC Ace rep, but it is just outright one of the best books we’ve read together in a long time.
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r/AmITheAsshole? Asexuality Edition #5
Episode 149Are these people assholes about asexuality? You all know the drill, so let’s get to it!
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Things are changing around here...
Episode 148New logo, who dis? Plus, we got silenced during Pride month and Courtney’s boobs broke PodBean.
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A GOOD Ace article for once!? Two Women Redefine What it Means to Marry Your Best Friend
Episode 147We’ve spent a lot of time covering articles that range from completely ignoring to downright hating Asexual people, so today we are thrilled to be covering an actually good article by Kera Bolonik about an asexual wedding.
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Another Bad Take Allo Op-Ed: A sexless marriage is not OK
Episode 146Sexless marriages are often stigmatized as failures, but is the absence of sex truly a sign of a loveless relationship? Today we critique an article by Kate Lister, which fails to genuinely include asexual perspectives, and explore how understanding asexual experiences can benefit all individuals, regardless of their orientation.
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Ace Vibes in Action Adventure Manga
Episode 145Outside of the few explicitly Ace characters in media, there’s a wide variety of Ace vibes and headcannons. Today, we’ll talk about long running action adventure manga series like Dragon Ball and One Piece and how we can look at character depictions through all the adaptations, translations, and filler content.
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Ten Year Anniversary Q&A (Part 2)
Episode 144How has our relationship dynamic changed over the span of a decade? Do we feel pressure to conform to traditional gender norms? How do people react to us being vegan vs being asexual? We answer all these and more!
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Ten Year Anniversary Q&A (Part 1)
Episode 143We recently celebrated ten whole years of Asexual marital bliss! To celebrate we’re answering listener questions about exploring new labels and identities after getting married, how people perceive our relationship, what “date nights” and intimacy looks like for us, and more!
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Chinese Poetry Translations with an AroAce, Genderqueer, Diaspora Lens ft. Yilin Wang
Episode 142We’re rejoined today by Yilin Wang to give an update on the British Museum stolen translations debacle and to discuss their absolutely stunning new book The Lantern and the Night Moths.
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The Ashley Madison Documentary is SHOCKING!
Episode 141We honestly had no intention of talking about Ashly Madison again, but a new documentary came out and we just couldn’t resist watching!
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What even is cheating?
Episode 140What is cheating? Is “emotional cheating” a thing? Have we ever been cheated on? Plus a very silly article review about Ashley Madison users who cheat on their spouses but for some reason are adamant about their nauseatingly high brand loyalty.
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Asexual Representation in Heartbreak High Season 2
Episode 139Ca$h’s Asexual journey continues into season 2. How does it develop... and is it getting better?
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GLAAD Report: Asexual Characters on TV 2023-2024
Episode 138Last year we spotted some errors in the GLAAD Where We Are on TV report, so we thought we’d dig in this year’s report to see if the numbers seem more accurate and analyze what it means for Asexual representation as whole.
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Student Protests are not caused by a lack of sex...but Aces should still call for a Free Palestine
Episode 137An NYU professor thinks the Pro-Palestinian college protests are due to a lack of sex which is yet another example of sex being used as a tool of control to induce complacency and sexlessness being used as a scare tactic. This episode is NOT a comprehensive educational tool on the crisis in Gaza, but it IS a call to action...
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r/AmITheAsshole? Asexuality Edition #4
Episode 136Wow, has it really been 10 months since our last r/AmITheAsshole episode? Prepare for another round of judgement!
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What The New York Times Got Wrong in their Sexless Marriage Article
Episode 135The New York Times Magazine asks, “Can a Sexless Marriage Be a Happy One?” in their recent Modern Love Issue, but they made a GLARING omission...
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Asexual Comedy
Episode 134Let’s talk about Asexual comedy! Starting with the Asexual computer repair episode of Nathan for You and following up with several standup sets, we have a variety of examples. Some is good, some is bad, some is written by us and for us, while some is downright cruel to us.
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“Project 2025” paints a bleak picture of our future if Trump wins
Episode 133The Heritage Foundation is at it again. Their “Mandate for Leadership” tells a terrifying story of what the country will look like under the next conservative president and EVERY queer person needs to be aware.
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Weird Allo Reality Shows 2
Episode 132It’s time for round two of weird allo reality shows! Today we discuss Love is Blind Sweden, Perfect Match, Twenty Somethings Austin, and Dated & Related.
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Are Kourtney Kardashian and Caitlyn Jenner Asexual?
Episode 131Sensational headlines and hateful comments online have informed us that Kourtney Kardashian came out as Autosexual. We investigate these claims and ponder whether she’s even the first in the family to identify with an Ace-spec label.
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Kink Without Sex in Love and Leashes
Episode 130Although not explicitly stated to be Asexual representation, the South Korean Netflix film Love and Leashes shows a fascinatingly sexless BDSM relationship that resonates with many Aces.
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The Date of the Union 2024: Men think liking a selfie is cheating but sleeping with someone isn’t???
Episode 129Forbes released a survey on “The State of Dating in America” and some of these results seem downright bizarre!
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r/DnD & RPG Horror Stories: Asexuality Edition
Episode 128TTRPGs can be a sacred space for queer people exploring their identities...unfortunately, if you get the wrong GM, it can also be a space riddled with acephobia.
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We’re finally talking about the “AroAce” character in Hazbin Hotel...
Episode 127Is Alastor the Radio Demon good Aromantic and/or Asexual representation? And, for that matter, is his orientation even canon and obvious to the average viewer? We have THOUGHTS.
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Playing AroAce Bingo and Proclaiming Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week in Kansas!
Episode 126We got Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week recognized by Governor Laura Kelly in the state of Kansas, so now we’re celebrating by playing AroAce Bingo!
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Asexual Representation: Evan Waxman from High Maintenance
Episode 125Today we discuss the adorable Jewish magician who served as a surprisingly early and surprisingly good example of Asexual representation on the web-turned-TV-series High Maintenance.
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PLEASE Stop Using LinkedIn For Dating!
Episode 124According to Business Insider, LinkedIn is now a dating app, but....SHOULD it be???
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Asexual Representation in The Barbie Movie
Episode 123Thanks to a combination of trailers and press tours, the internet was abuzz with musings of a possible Asexual Barbie long before the 2023 movie ever premiered. Now that Barbie is available to stream, it’s time to watch it in full and give our honest opinions.
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Royce’s Dating & Self-Discovery Stories
Episode 122Today Royce shares a journey of self-discovery related to various aspects of asexuality, gender (or lack thereof), and neurodivergence by recounting their dating history and things that have been learned in hindsight.
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Suffering through Big Mouth Part 2: Is Elijah good Asexual representation?
Episode 121We’re back for round two of suffering through Big Mouth (so you don’t have to)! Today we examine Elijah’s character development, his relationship dynamics with Missy post-‘Asexual Healing’, and how the show treats him overall.
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We suffered through Big Mouth to make this episode for you
Episode 120We watched ALL of seasons 1-7 of Big Mouth in order to analyze and give our opinions on the Asexual Representation in the famously sexual show. We had enough to say about the ups and downs that this episode is only part one of two.
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Answering Google Asexual Autocomplete Questions
Episode 119Hello, welcome, and thank you to our THOUSANDS of brand new subscribers! Many of you are Allosexual and have expressed that you’re brand new to learning about Asexuality, so today we’re answering commonly Googled questions from our perspective just for you!
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This episode is not about James Somerton: It’s about Community
Episode 118The response to our James Somerton episode has been overwhelming and we want to take a minute to talk about the response, answer some questions, and refocus on community before returning to our regularly scheduled programming.
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Asexual Married Couple Reacts to r/DeadBedrooms #2
Episode 117You all asked for more Dead Bedrooms, so Happy Holidays! You get more Dead Bedrooms.
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We were personally victimized by James Somerton
Episode 116You’ve heard of Cake Ace, maybe even Space Ace! Now get ready....for RAGE ACE! Because we were personally victimized by James Somerton, and we’re finally ready to share our story.
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A Christian Boy Broke up with Courtney because of GNOMES
Episode 115We all know that a particular demographic of Christians hate Asexuals, but did you know that they also hate GNOMES!? A Baby Ace Courtney story time.
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Asexual Representation: Rabbit
Episode 114One of our favorite little unexpected nuggets of Ace Rep we’ve happened upon recently comes from the YouTube miniseries Rabbit by Kyle Prue. In only 5 short episodes, we fell in love! THIS is the kind of Ace story we want to see in mainstream media.
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Answering Your Disabled Ace Day Panel Questions
Episode 113We had so many questions from our Disabled Ace Day panel this year that we didn’t have time to get to, so today we’re doing a Q&A (that is almost as long as the panel itself was) for Courtney to try to answer them all!
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Asexual Married Couple Reacts to r/DeadBedrooms
Episode 112Today, for the very first time, we’re diving into the deep, dark Reddit depths of r/deadbedrooms. Pray for us.
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Asexuality in Manga 2: Catch These Hands! & Is Love the Answer?
Episode 111We’re back for another round of Ace representation in manga discussing Is Love the Answer? & Catch These Hands! also known as Accept my Fist of Love!
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Disabled BIPOC Aces Panel: Disabled Ace day 2023
Episode 110Today we have a special treat! A recording of the Disabled BIPOC Aces Panel featuring Justin Ancheta, Dal Cecil Runo, Johnnie Jae, Charlie the Prophet, and Courtney Lane which was streamed live on Disabled Ace Day 2023 during Ace Week. Tune in for a fascinating, intersectional discussion!
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Intersectionality, Adoption, and Mental Health ft. Asexual Goddess
Episode 109We’re joined by Asexual Goddess to discuss adoption, mental health, feeling like “The Token Black Asexual”, and the new webcomic Trauma Episodes. We discuss racism in the foster care system, how adoption is disabling, being an asexual artist, and SO much more!
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Being a Nonbinary Trigender Woman...Maybe??
Episode 108Today we delve into Courtney’s complex gender history, the limitations of language, the continuous evolution of terminology within queer communities, and the power and pitfalls of labels.
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The Queerplatonic Brilliance of Kevin Can F**k Himself
Episode 107Kevin Can F**k Himself was a masterpiece in subversion. Not only subverting the sitcom genre, but amatonormativity in media and greater society’s preconceived notion of what life partnership must look like. It was iconic and queerplatonic to the very end.
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Housing Discrimination: An Unfortunate Update on the Shawnee Co-Living Ban
Episode 106Remember the infamous Kansas “roommate ban” that we discussed last year? Well, today we have an update after a federal lawsuit was brought against the city of Shawnee and we discuss why housing is an A-spec issue that deserves more of our community’s attention.
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Asexual Representation: Sex Education Was GOOD, Actually!?
Episode 105We famously disliked the less than 5 minutes of screen time that Florence’s Ace plot line got, but Sex Education season 4 introduced an entirely new Asexual character by the name of O, so it’s time to ask the question: Did the show redeem itself!?
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The Journey of Being Mixed Race and Ace in STEM ft. Sarah Cosgriff
Episode 104Today we explore the intersections of science, sexuality, and identity with science communicator, Sarah Cosgriff. Learn about the complexities of being mixed race, the intricacies of the ace community, the importance of LGBTQ+ inclusion in STEM, and SO much more!
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Asexuality in Manga: Mine-kun is Asexual, I Want to be a Wall, & Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon
Episode 103Today we’ve got an Ace rep 3-for-1! Royce walks us through the Asexual representation in Mine-kun is Asexual, I Want to be a Wall, & Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon.
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What The HECK are “Beige Flags”!?
Episode 102Promise this was a relevant topic when we recorded it ages ago. Although the conversation may be fashionably late, we hope you will enjoy it all the same!
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POTS, Fencing, and One For All ft. Lillie Lainoff
Episode 101Today we sit down with author Lillie Lainoff to discuss her personal journey as a fencer with POTS and writing chronic illness & Ace representation in her book One For All. Plus, Courtney tells her story about accidentally pulling a sword on a couple of Mormons...
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Jessica Rabbit: Femme Fatale or Asexual Icon?
Episode 100Today we discuss the iconic 1988 film “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”, spotlighting Jessica Rabbit. Is she a classic example of a femme fatale or is she secretly a misunderstood Asexual character way ahead of her time? After all, she’s not “bad”. She’s just drawn that way.
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Crafting Asexual and Disabled Characters in Historical Fiction ft. Carly Heath
Episode 99Today we’re joined by Carly Heath, author of The Reckless Kind, to discuss writing asexual and disabled characters in historical fiction. Other themes we discuss include queer-platonic relationships, veganism, fanfiction, and even hair jewelry!
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Asexual Representation: Isaac Henderson in Heartstopper (season 2)
Episode 98We were promised “BIG ASEXUAL PLANS” for Heartstopper Season 2 by the creator Alice Osemen, but did the show live up to the hype? Tune in to hear our thoughts on Isaac’s journey!
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Asexual Representation? Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory ft. Tyger Songbird
Episode 97We’ve never seen The Big Bang Theory and literally the ONLY thing we’d ever heard about it is “there’s an awkward character named Sheldon Cooper who was asexual...until he wasn’t”. So, we invited our friend Tyger Songbird back to tell us all about it and help us pass judgement!
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The Tale of the Body Thief (yes, we’re STILL talking about the Vampire Chronicles)
Episode 96Yes, unfortunately, we are STILL talking about Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles. The saga continues with an analysis of The Tale of the Body Thief where we refute the contentious fandom reactions to our assertion of asexuality present in the series.
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Black Asexual Activism ft. Marshall Blount AKA Gentle Giant Ace
Episode 95Today, we’re joined by Marshall Blount AKA Gentle Giant Ace to talk about Black Asexual activism, the importance of community building, and cake! Tune in to find out why racism is like disco and for a special guest appearance by Marshall’s mom, Marcia!
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Marriage Consummation Laws: “Sham” Marriages, Immigration, and Asexual Inequality
Episode 94Join us as we delve into the complex world of marriage consummation laws, asexual relationships, and the fight for equal rights. Expect to have your understanding of marriage challenged as we unpack laws across all US states as well as international implications.
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The British Museum Stole Translations of Qiu Jin’s Poetry ft. Yilin Wang
Episode 93Today we are joined by Yilin Wang, a Demiromantic Asexual writer, editor, and Chinese-English translator fighting against copyright and moral rights infringement by the British Museum. Listen to her journey, the fight to #NameTheTranslator and the Queer significance of Qiu Jin’s poetry.
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r/AmITheAsshole? Asexuality Edition #3
Episode 92Despite Courtney’s persisting gavellessness, we are once again passing judgement upon 7 internet strangers who have asked the age-old question “Am I the Asshole?” in various situations somehow pertaining to asexuality.
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Writing Asexual & Aromantic Representation in Visual Novels ft. Stefan Gagne
Episode 91Today another fabulous Ace Indie Game Developer, Stefan Gagne, joins us to talk writing Asexual, Aromantic, and Disabled representation in Arcade Spirits and The New Challengers. Plus, we get a special sneak peak into the forthcoming game Penny Larceny: Gig Economy Supervillain!
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The Ultimatum Queer Love
Episode 90After watching a bunch of weird straight allo reality shows, Courtney simultaneously desired and feared the prospect of a queer iteration. Well, now we’ve got The Ultimatum Queer Love and she’s got THOUGHTS.
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boobs
Episode 89Growing up asexual with big boobs was like navigating a minefield of insecurities, discomfort, and unwanted attention. Join us as we explore the stigmas, misconceptions, and the impact they can have on a person’s quality of life and participation in physical activities.
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Asexual Barbie: Unraveling Society’s Perception and Body Image Impact
Episode 88Margot Robbie, who will be portraying Barbie in the forthcoming movie, has stated that Barbie should never be seen as sexy. We discuss the implications of Barbie being asexual, society’s perception of her, and studies related to these dolls and body image.
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The Eighth Year: We Survived “The Fatal Year of Marriage”
Episode 87After successfully staving off “The Seven Year Itch”, we have now survived “The Fatal Year of Marriage”. Honestly, years 7 and 8 weren’t hard, so why did everyone tell us they would be? In order to find out, we need to go all the way back to 1913.
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Asexual Representation: My Heart To Find is the Acest, most Disabled book I’ve ever read!
Episode 86May is Lyme Disease Awareness Month, so we’re discussing the Aces in Love Romantic Mystery novel My Heart to Find! Not only does it feature #OwnVoices representation for Lyme Disease and OCD, but there are more Asexual characters in it than any other book we’ve read!
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Matt Walsh ALSO Hates Asexual & Aromantic People...
Episode 85Get your bigotry bingo cards ready, because today we’re talking about Matt Walsh! We break down his hateful talking points over the course of a year and three separate videos including ways they stay consistent, get subtly more inflammatory, and parallel his anti-Trans propaganda.
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Weird Allo Reality Shows
Episode 84These sex-and-romance-based reality shows are out of control! Today we talk about Love is Blind, Married at First Sight, Too Hot To Handle, Marriage or Mortgage, and Sexy Beasts.
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Declining Birthrate Panic, Effective Altruism, and the Pronatalists
Episode 83A recent Telegraph article entitled “Meet the ‘elite’ couples breeding to save mankind” is...a lot. We read it cold, reacted live on mic, and honestly should’ve made a bingo card before diving in! We’ve heard this all before, so we predicted every horrifying note.
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The Queen of the Damned Proves that Anne Rice’s Vampires are Asexual
Episode 82Despite what the recent AMC series and many fans of the franchise say, Anne Rice’s vampires are asexual. A young Courtney got Ace vibes right from the very first book, but book three The Queen of the Damned gives us conclusive evidence.
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The Vampire Lestat (The Lost Episode)
Episode 81We recorded this like a year and a half ago and never released it, but many of you asked to hear “the lost episode” and thanks to AMC The Vampire Chronicles are relevant again, so here you go...
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What GLAAD Got Wrong About Asexual Representation
Episode 80GLAAD made a big mistake in their Where We Are on TV report for the 2022-23 season. Depending on where you look, GLAAD claims there were either 8 or 6 asexual characters on TV but a deeper dive reveals that there were actually far less than that...
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Asexual Hate Crime Study: “I don’t know if this counts but...” ft. Kate Wood
Episode 79“I don’t know if this counts but…” This week, we talk to Kate Wood about the findings from 1600 responses to the Asexual Lived Experiences Survey 2021, including both quantitative data and the deeply personal stories sent in by survivors of abuse and violence.
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Asexual & Autistic Representation: Ca$h & Quinni from Heartbreak High
Episode 78Heartbreak High is a little Mean Girls, a little Euphoria, and a little Sex Education. It also brought us a wonderful Autistic character and an okay Asexual one. We talk about our thoughts on the show including the good, the bad, and the painstaking.
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REALLY Weird Christian Sex Article: Sex Won’t Save You (But It Points To The One Who Will)
Episode 77The Gospel Coalition recently published an excerpt from the upcoming book entitled Beautiful Union: How God’s Vision for Sex Points Us to the Good, Unlocks the True, and (Sort of) Explains Everything... and it’s SUPER WEIRD.
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The Triumphs and Failures of AMC’s Interview with the Vampire: Part 2
Episode 76Carrying on from last week, we discuss our Ace perspective on the blood, the drama, and the sex in episodes 4-7 of AMC’s new Interview With The Vampire series.
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The Triumphs and Failures of AMC’s Interview with the Vampire: Part 1
Episode 75Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire series on AMC had many triumphs! But...it wasn’t without its flaws. We discuss what went well, what went wrong, and what went weird from our asexual point of view.
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Arcade Spirits: The “Dating” Sim Where You Don’t Have To Date!
Episode 74Happy Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week! Recently we played every route in the game Arcade Spirits- including one where you can canonically be AroAce and actively choose not to date anybody! Designed by the indie team at Fiction Factory Games including Aromantic, Asexual, Nonbinary, and Disabled developers.
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Fog of Love 2: Baby Boogaloo (or Unprotected Sex Simulator Board Game)
Episode 73Time for round two of Fog of Love: Romantic Comedy as a Board Game! This time we’re playing the most challenging scenario “I Know What I Want”. Royce plays Betty, the parking attendant while Courtney plays Calvin, the internet celebrity. It doesn’t go well.
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We Got Ace Week Recognized Locally & You Can Too!
Episode 72We got Ace Week recognized in Kansas City and we’re here to share how you can do the same in your area! Plus we share a couple of weird stories about our beloved KC including the one time Courtney was almost the subject of a Super Bowl commercial.
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Being a Jamaican Ace in Catholic School, A “Right to Sex”, & Other Allonormative Nonsense ft. Fara
Episode 71Fara grew up as an Episcopalian child of Jamaican immigrants who identifies as Asexual and is starting to explore Aromanticism. We talk about her experience, learning about theology of the body in Catholic school, the “right to sex” debacle, and SO much more!
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Asexual Representation- The Most Banned Book, Gender Queer: A Memoir
Episode 70The most challenged book in the U.S. was written by Ace, Gender Queer author Maia Kobabe. Eir book is a vulnerable coming of age graphic novel that has found itself the main character in the latest conservative culture war.
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Ace Notes: Tips and Tricks on Existing in an Allo World ft. Michele Kirichanskaya
Episode 69Remember “The Article” that sparked so much harassment that Courtney almost quit the Ace community? Well, today we talk to the writer of said article Michele Kirichanskaya. We discuss their forthcoming book, Ace Notes, their experience as a Jewish Ace, and SO much more!
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Asexual Representation: Abbi Singh from The Imperfects
Episode 68Yet another sad casualty in Netflix’s tirade of single-season cancellations, The Imperfects gives us rare and much needed representation in the character of Abbi Singh. She is an Ace, Lesbian, WOC in STEM and not enough people know about her!
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Taking an Online Autism Assessment
Episode 67TikTok told us that we’re Autistic. To be fair, we already had that theory ourselves...So just for fun let’s take the IDR Labs Autism Spectrum Test live on microphone!
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Relationship Commitment and Division of Labor
Episode 66Recently Michelle Obama confessed that she spent 10 years hating Barack. We don’t understand “marital hatred”, but it got us talking about commitment, the division of labor in relationships, and societal expectations that place a disproportional burden on women.
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r/AmITheAsshole? Asexuality Edition #2
Episode 65Lots of you asked us for more Asexual AITA, so here we are once again! Today we read and share our perspectives on 8 different Reddit stories that all pertain to asexuality.
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Decoupling Sin from Sex, Dating Sims, Discourse, & Being a Chinese Ace ft. Satan
Episode 64The other half of Aces Playing at Attraction, Satan, shares their experience as a Chinese, femme-presenting Ace. We discuss everything from decoupling sex & sin, dating sims, genderqueerness, birth control, asexual discourse, and so much more!
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Wednesday’s Queerbaiting, AroAce Erasure, & Failed Conversion Therapy Allegory
Episode 63Everybody is shipping #Wenclair. Netflix and the show’s cast are leaning into the queer community with interviews and “Wednesgay” drag events without actually showing us meaningful gay rep on screen. Meanwhile, Wednesday could and should be an AroAce icon.
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Asexuality & Kink ft. Evie Lupine
Episode 62Today we’re joined by Evie Lupine for a jam-packed episode where we discuss the intersections of kink and asexuality, her personal journey as a kinky Ace, asexual discrimination, the kink community being more welcoming to Aces than some Pride organizations and SO much more!
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Bigoted Article: Demisexuals Are Scared Of Sex
Episode 61A bigoted op-ed was recently published on UnHerd entitled “Demisexuals are scared of sex: Desire has been purged from the modern dating scene”. It’s steeped in compulsory sexuality, rape culture, and ignorance as well as outright lies about demisexuality.
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Aces DO NOT Invade Denmark!
Episode 60The history of the “Aces Invade Denmark” meme...and why it’s long past time to put it to rest.
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We LOVE Koisenu Futari!
Episode 59Part two continued from last week of the Aromantic, Asexual representation in Koisenu Futari! A perfect ending to an unbelievably beautiful series.
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Koisenu Futari: Is this the Perfect AroAce Rep!?
Episode 58We did it. We found the PERFECT AroAce rep! If you’re looking for fully grown, live-action adult, queer-platonic found family goodness with a couple who experience no romantic or sexual feelings, then look no further than J-drama Koisenu Futari.
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Ace Week “Boundless Creativity” ft. Miktastic
Episode 57Happy Ace Week & Disabled Ace Day! Today Mik shares zir experience as a Black, Disabled, “AAA Battery” with many of creative endeavors. We talk experiences of being asexual in the military, quoiromanticism, polyamory, becoming team lead of an all aspec stream team and so much more!
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What is Normal Marital Hatred? (Seriously, we don’t know!)
Episode 56The Washington Post claims that marital hatred is normal and that everyone who’s been in a long-term relationship can relate. But IS it normal? Has EVERYONE experienced this? We’ve quarantined together for 2 1/2 years and haven’t experienced it, so we remain skeptical...
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Aromantic, Asexual Representation? The Owl House
Episode 55We watched The Owl House because the internet told us there was great AroAce rep. But there...wasn’t? The show was cute and undeniably queer. But we should praise it for what’s actually shown as opposed to what was “confirmed” off screen.
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Asexuality, Christianity, High School, & Trauma ft. Sharky
Episode 54Once upon a time, a cartoon shark had a conversation with Satan (no, not THAT one...the other one) and realized he was asexual. But what does it mean to be a Christian Asexual?
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Our (Horrible) First Drag Shows
Episode 53We both had very awkward first Drag show experiences for very different reasons...but embarrassing events make for great stories! Plus, a somewhat related bonus story of Courtney’s very weird attempt to purchase a massage.
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One Year Anniversary of The Ace Couple Podcast
Episode 52It is our one year podcast anniversary! A lot has happened in a single year, so let’s take a trip down memory lane.
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Gray-Asexuality & Diverse Video Game Representation ft. Lucy Blundell
Episode 51Lucy Bludell AKA Games by Kinmoku is the disabled, gray-ace indie game dev who brought us the wonderful visual novel One Night Stand. In this episode, we talk about their personal journey, why an ace would make a game about a one night stand, queer representation in gaming, and her forthcoming game VIDEOVERSE!
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Demisexual Representation: Never Been Kissed
Episode 50Never Been Kissed by Timothy Janovsky has one of the best metaphors for oriented (gay, demi) asexuality that we’ve ever read. As a New Adult novel, it takes the conversations of sexual orientation a little further than YA books we’ve read with a demisexual character- which we appreciate very much!
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r/AreTheStraightsOK “Cheating on my partner is self-care!”
Episode 49On Reddit there is no shortage of straight people who think that marriage is a trap, they hate their partners, and they cheat on each other for “self-care”. We have no choice but to ask... ARE the straights OK!?
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Christian Republicans HATE Asexuals
Episode 48Christofascists HATE asexuals, and this isn’t new. For years, they’ve been saying that platonic marriage goes against God and should be illegal. And ironically, because of Obergefell v. Hodges (the landmark Supreme Court case that legalized same-sex marriage)...it might be.
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God Gave Us Sex...So You BETTER Do It Right!
Episode 47Conservative Christians think marriage should be “conjugal” NOT “consent-based”. Religious lobbyists say marriage was the first institution created by God before man created government and is, therefore, based in religion and procreative sex, not love and autonomy.
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Religious Right Says Sex is Integral to Marriage, More Important than Autonomy
Episode 46The religious organizations opposing platonic marriage believe that sex is the #1 most important component to marriage. In their own words, procreative sex is more important than personal bodily autonomy. This is compulsory sexuality, amatonormativity, and rape culture.
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Asexual Marriage is Under Attack
Episode 4583 religious, right-wing organizations signed a letter to Mitch McConnell condemning the Respect for Marriage act and citing “platonic marriage” as a “startling expansion of what marriage means”. Today, we break down the letter. Next week, we examine these organizations closer.
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We Lost a Friend to Acephobia (& Other Microaggressions)
Episode 44We lost a friend due to acephobia and other microaggressions that started to arise and spiraled out of control during a D&D campaign.
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Answering Your NGL Questions
Episode 43Time for an anonymous Q&A! We asked for questions via the NGL app and you delivered! We do our best to answer them all, but a few of them are complicated enough that they could be an entire episode on their own!
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Bigoted Article: Playing the Ace Card
Episode 42The Spectator published an Anti-Ace, Anti-Trans article. We share what they said and why it’s important to learn what their strategy and talking points are. We need to know how to fight back, because they’re playing the long-game while we’re stuck in damage control.
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The Seven-Year Itch: The Concept & The Movie
Episode 41We recently celebrated our 8 year anniversary which means we successfully staved off the alleged “seven-year itch”, but what is even is that? Is it real? Is it just an allosexual thing? Did the movies make it up? Let’s talk about it!
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Asexual Representation: Parvati Holcomb in The Outer Worlds
Episode 40Parvati Holcomb is our favorite character in the The Outer Worlds. She is Asexual and as her captain/confidant, you can play as an AroAce. This is groundbreaking rep for Aces in video games (and we don’t just say that because her potential girlfriend works at “The Groundbreaker”)
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What the “Kink at Pride” Discourse Gets Wrong
Episode 39We are by NO means anti-kink-at-pride, however, there are some staple lines in The Discourse that we see over and over that run counter to our experience. So, here’s our asexual perspective along with some added nuance to properly complicate the conversation. We know this is a hot-button issue and we really, truly come in peace. Please do not assume what our stance is without listening to the whole episode, as we cover A LOT of ground.
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Asexual Representation? Welp...Guess We Gotta Talk About Euphoria...
Episode 38Euphoria is a lot. We can’t claim to be fans of the show, but season 2 questioned whether or not the main character, Rue, could be asexual. However, the way it was handled caused a lot of online harassment aimed at the Ace community.
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Jaiden Animations is AroAce: The Internet’s Reaction and What it Means to the Community
Episode 37Popular Animator and YouTuber Jaiden Animations announced that she is AroAce! Rarely do we get real-world representation from someone with this big of a platform, so we talk about her video, the internet’s reaction, and what this means to the community.
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Growing up in the Bible Belt & Black Asexuality ft. Tyger Songbird
Episode 36Happy Pride Month! We’re kicking it off with an extra special episode featuring the fantastic Tyger Songbird! We talk about Tyger’s experience growing up in the Bible Belt, Black Asexuality, the necessity of diverse representation, and SO much more!
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Being Asexual with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome
Episode 35May is EDS & HSD Awareness Month! We often speak about the intersection of asexuality and disability, but Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome happens to be one of Courtney’s many maladies and her experience actually runs counter to the “disabled people are desexualized” narrative.
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Our Eight Year Anniversary Special- Reminiscing on our 1st Year of Marriage
Episode 34May 23rd is our 8 year anniversary! Please join us on a trip down memory lane as, for the first time, we reread the “365 I love you’s” that Courtney wrote and gave to Royce on our 1st anniversary. Reminiscing both sweet and silly ensues.
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Umm...Did Shawnee, Kansas Ban Roommates!?
Episode 33Did Shawnee ban roommates? Are unmarried couples, QPRs, & queer family structures under attack? Shawnee is the first city we ever lived in together, so we give a local perspective on the matter, including a history of racial and economic discrimination present here.
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Heartstopper, Alice Oseman, and AroAce Vibes
Episode 32Heartstopper is making waves in young, queer love. We aren’t quite the target demographic for this story, but there is still much to applaud and potential for AroAce rep in future seasons. The writer, Alice Oseman is AroAce which is enough for us to lend our support.
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r/AmITheAsshole? Asexuality Edition
Episode 31Today we’re comin’ atcha with 5 stories from r/AmITheAsshole that all somehow revolve around the topic of asexuality. We have Ace people, Straight people, Gay people, and “Allies” who have submitted themselves for our judgment via reddit.
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“Radical” Monogamy
Episode 30What the heck is Radical Monogamy? Is it a thing? SHOULD it be a thing? Citing a variety of articles, we discuss our personal thoughts, the polyamory discourse surrounding ace-allo relationships, and we reimagine polyamory as D&D spell slots. (Plus that one time Courtney was almost on Viceland)
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Asexual Representation: The Dreaded House Episode
Episode 29A decade ago, Courtney, along with over 8 million other Americans tuned in to watch an episode of House entitled “Better Half”. In the closet and considering how to come out, she was delighted to see an asexual couple make an appearance...until it all went wrong.
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New Community Project Announcement! A-specs Committed to Anti-Racism
Episode 28Happy International Asexuality Day! In honor of IAD, we’re launching a new community project: A-specs Committed to Anti-Racism. Here’s why this project is important and how to participate. Plus, tune in for a book giveaway!
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Asexual (and Autistic!) Representation: Everything’s Gonna Be Okay
Episode 27Everything’s Gonna Be Okay came on our radar in the same way Sex Education did: A singular scene that the Ace community kept sharing. Unlike Sex Education, however, this show became a fast favorite of ours for it’s nuanced take on both asexual and autistic representation.
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Meet Our Pets!
Episode 26Let us introduce you to The Ace Couple Pets! Our family consists of a grumpy old-man dog, a somehow even grumpier opossum, two large snakes, and an entire mouse circus.
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Let’s Play Fog of Love, A Rom-Com Board Game: We Give it a Year
Episode 25Fog of Love is often described as “Romantic Comedy as a Board Game”, so what happens when a married Ace couple gives it a play? In this episode, we roleplay a fraught year in the relationship of Priscilla, the advertising manager and Bertrand, the career criminal. Silliness ensues.
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Asexual Representation: Todd Chavez, Our Ace Hero
Episode 24Part 2 continuing from last week’s episode! Todd Chavez from Bojack Horseman is currently our favorite example of asexual representation in the media. We finish our discussion of Todd by reviewing seasons 4-6 including his relationships with Emily, Yolanda, and Maude.
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Asexual Representation: Todd Chavez from Bojack Horseman
Episode 23Bojack Horseman. We went from hating it, to loving it, to enshrining it is as one of our all-time favorite pieces of media. In 2016, we watched in delight as season 3 teased an asexual plotline for audience-favorite Todd Chavez. And friends, it only got better from there!
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An Introduction to Aromanticism
Episode 22It’s Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week! To celebrate, here’s our introduction to Aromanticism. We discuss why this week is important, why Courtney might be a little bit Demi/Gray-Romantic (including an utterly embarrassing Elementary School story), and the concept of amatonormativity. Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week is celebrated the last full week after Valentine’s Day. For 2022, that’s February 20th-26th.
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Our Common Law Marriage
Episode 21We decided to take the unconventional route and get married by Common Law nearly 8 years ago. There are many misconceptions about what common law marriage is and is not, so we’re going to talk about how and why we did it and how we told our families.
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Asexual Representation: Lets Talk About Love
Episode 20Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann is a YA novel featuring a Black, Bi “Gray” Asexual woman as the main character. It is a MUCH needed breath of fresh air in a sea of white Ace Rep. Here’s our (spoiler!) discussion about it! I also forgot we live in a modern world where I can look up how to pronounce an author’s name via The Internet prior to recording, so....I pronounced it wrong and I am ever so sorry :( Her last name should have been pronounced Kann with an open wide and go “ah” sound, not Kann as in a “Can” of soda.
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Does the Asexual Community have an Ageism Issue?
Episode 19Although asexuality is not a new sexual orientation, the community, which is primarily assembled online, still feels very new at times. Not only new, but very YOUNG. Today we discuss the ageism present both in and out of the Ace community.
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Asexual Representation: Graphic Novel A-Okay
Episode 18A-Okay by Jarad Greene is a beautiful, semi-autobiographical graphic novel which centers asexuality right alongside other widely relatable coming of age issues such as acne and growing apart from friends. Here’s Courtney’s recap and review (spoilers, obviously)!
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New “Hardballing” Gen Z Dating Trend
Episode 17The latest dating trend to come out of Gen Z is called Hardballing AKA “Dating like a CEO”. Some love it while others hate it, so we’re here today to discuss our asexual perspective on the matter.
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Web Accessibility, Personal vs Corporate Responsibility, & Avoiding Anti-Black Activism
Episode 16Web accessibility is imperative in our modern society. However, in trying to make a more inclusive internet, we can fall into the trap of creating new issues for other marginalized communities if we place the burden primarily on individuals instead of the tech corporations who can-and should- be doing so much more.
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Reacting to “Marriage Requires Amnesia” New York Times
Episode 15Last week, The New York Times published an article entitled “Marriage Requires Amnesia: Do I hate my husband? Oh for sure, yes, definitely.” and it’s...a lot.
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Asexual Representation: Interview With the Vampire
Episode 14Interview with the Vampire is famously homoerotic, at least according to Allos. But Baby Ace Courtney saw components of her own experience in The Vampire Chronicles, so we’re here to make the argument that Anne Rice’s Vampires are, in fact, Asexual.
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We Played One Night Stand The Video Game
Episode 13Believe it or not, but as an Asexual, monogamous, married couple, we do not have a lot of experience with One Night Stands. Well, thanks to independent game developer, Kinmoku, we can play a video game simulation of the awkward “morning after”. Kinmoku herself is a Grey Ace, and we think she made a beautiful Visual Novel!
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Have You Come Out To Family? The Asexual Community Responds
Episode 12What percentage of Asexual folks have actually come out to their family? Most large-scale surveys on coming out focus only on the LGBT experiences and neglect the rest of the acronym, so we turned to Twitter to ask our followers. The poll results and comments elaborating reflect important components of the Ace experience.
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Coming Out as Asexual to Family
Episode 11No two coming out stories are exactly the same. In this episode, Royce shares their reasons for not having a coming out conversation with family and Courtney shares a story of getting her Grandma a little tipsy before coming out as asexual.
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An Asexual Couple’s Guide to Giving Gifts
Episode 10The Holidays are upon us and many are starting to stress about what gift to give their partners. But never fear! The Ace Couple is here to talk about the way they handle gift giving, because it just so happens that Royce is the best gift giver that Courtney has ever known.
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I Almost Became An Asexual Lingerie Model
Episode 9I am asexual and when I was 18, I almost became a lingerie model. Until now, I’ve never shared this story or these photos publicly, but recently there was a ton of backlash when prominent ace activist and model Yasmin Benoit joined Playful Promises to create an Ace Week campaign, so I’m here to add another voice to the “Aces in Lingerie” conversation.
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Mehgender with None Pronouns
Episode 8Hooray! Royce Episode! Today, we talk about gender identity and personal pronouns from the perspective of someone who is Agender, doesn’t wish to use pronouns, and generally feels rather “meh” about the whole gender thing.
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Asexual Representation: Is Dexter Morgan an Ace Icon!?
Episode 7Dexter: New Blood is the reboot that nobody asked for, but since it’s here anyway, now is the perfect opportunity to look all the way back to season 1 of the original series and ask...is Dexter Morgan secretly an Asexual Icon!?
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Ace Week 2021 Recap: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
Episode 6In many ways, we believe that this year was the most successful Ace Week to date! There were many wonderful successes such as Disabled Ace Day and PanACEa, but no queer event online goes without it’s challenges. Today, we discuss some of the notable events to come out of Ace Week 2021 including the good, the bad, the weird, and the downright hateful...i.e. the Girlguiding Twitter fiasco. For those who want to opt out of the hate comments, we start talking about Girlguiding at 41:02.
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The Complicated Intersections of Disability and Asexuality
Episode 5Living at the intersections of Disability and Asexuality is complicated and we need to have this conversation. Ableism is rampant in the Ace community, while acephobia is equally abundant in the Disabled community. That is why Courtney is founding Disabled Ace Day on Wednesdays during Ace Week. In this episode, Courtney (a disabled woman) and Royce (her spouse and accessibility expert) discuss the deeply discriminatory histories that have put these two communities at odds with one another as well as some of their personal experiences with discrimination and volunteering that highlight why a day like this is so important.
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Ableism and Acephobia in LGBTQIA+ spaces
Episode 4On this week’s episode, Courtney shares some of her personal experiences with disability discrimination in queer spaces. Ableism is rampant in LGBTQIA+ communities and that is one of the core reasons why we are founding the first ever Disabled Ace Day on Wednesday, October 27th, 2021 during Ace Week. Next time on The Ace Couple, we will discuss the complicated intersections of disability and asexuality including broader, systemic issues pertaining to ableism and aphobia.
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Our Asexual Love Story
Episode 3The world needs more asexual love stories, because the first asexual love story we ever saw was our own. From a disastrous first date to a life-threatening car crash, learn how our chance encounter online ended up fulfilling a mysterious fortune and lead to our happily ever after.
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Asexual Representation: Sex Education Was Bad, Actually
Episode 2Season 2 of Netflix’s Sex Education introduces the character Florence and teaches about asexuality in a heartfelt scene that resonated with many in the ace community, but is this actually good asexual media representation? We argue, no.
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ContraPoints Tweeted and Made Us Start a Podcast...
Episode 1Natalie Wynn AKA ContraPoints recently tweeted about Asexuality in a seemingly less than favorable light. On this inaugural episode of The Ace Couple Podcast, we’re going to dig into it to explore what she did right, what she did wrong, the asexual community’s reaction, and our thoughts on the matter.