Asexual Representation in Life is Strange Part 2: Steph’s Story

Transcript Transcribed by Laura M.

Courtney: Hello everyone and welcome back for part two of asexual representation in the Life is Strange franchise. Today, as promised, we are talking about one of the Life is Strange novels entitled Steph’s Story.

Royce: So to recap real quick, Steph was a character who made a very small appearance in the prequel game, Life is Strange: Before the Storm, and a more prominent appearance in the third franchise game, True Colors.

Courtney: Yes. So the book we’re going to be discussing actually takes place between those two games. So it’s kind of interesting because we read this book after having played both games, so we were well aware not only about a little bit of Steph’s backstory, in so much as she lived in Arcadia Bay when the storm happened, she knew Chloe. But we also knew where she was going after this. She was moving to a little mountain mining town in Colorado and–

Royce: Yeah, this book had, I guess, had to deal with some of the plot points that really any sort of prequel-like media does, where you expect the audience to know what happens after the ending of the story. This book was published in March of 2023, which was after the games.

Courtney: Yeah. So it’s really, really interesting to read a book like this. Because you have to kind of consider it just to be a snapshot of a certain point in time in a person’s life. And there’s even an author note, because presumably most, if not all, of the people reading this are familiar with at least some of the games. And there is an author’s note at the beginning that says: “Life is Strange is a world of choices. Some are small and others are downright cosmic. None are inconsequential. Though Steph’s life exists outside Arcadia Bay and Haven Springs, she is greatly impacted by events in both. Steph’s story occurs in a timeline where Arcadia Bay was destroyed, but Chloe Price was not. One of many possibilities in the vast multiverse. Whether your choice has mirrored these or not, I hope you choose to read Steph’s story with an open mind and continue to bring your creativity to the infinite universes of Life is Strange.”

Courtney: And that’s very interesting because even though this book doesn’t necessarily influence what would happen in the third game, Life is Strange: True Colors, aside from some little one-off mentions. Like, as you get to know Steph in that game, you start to get these little nuggets of her life, like oh, she used to be in a band called Drugstore Makeup. So you get these little bits that, have you played the game, you already know. But an author writing a book like this does have to kind of make a choice, like how did the timeline go for the sake of this book? Because in a timeline where you choose to save Arcadia Bay, Steph as a character is probably not heavily impacted by any of the events in the first game at all. But if Arcadia Bay, her home, is destroyed and by extension potentially family members, friends who are also caught up in the storm, who may have died, that becomes this incredible trauma that now this character is bringing forward into her life. So, narratively speaking, that’s a much more interesting basis to start from, I think, for a novel.

Courtney: And it’s also very cool because we know what happened, we know of the storm, we know how many people died. In the instance of this book, Steph’s mother died. And so we do get these little bits of her past trauma that are creeping in. She’s dealing with mental health issues. She has these little triggers, like getting upset by traveling to a coastal town. And just these little moments where, even if she’s trying not to dwell on them, like a creeping thought about her mother or creeping thought about Arcadia Bay, that will come in and sometimes she’ll even try and just be like, “Oh nope, we’re pushing that down, we’re pushing that to the side.” And I think that’s a very, very realistic portrayal of past trauma and what one person’s mental health journey might look like. And I think it’s kind of a golden opportunity in a book like this because you don’t have to then narrate and go through all of the details of what happened.

Courtney: You don’t have to like basically exposition dump, like, “Here’s all of my past trauma,” so that the audience knows, because it’s fair to assume that the audience does already know what happened, and then you can just fill in then with the little details of how it impacted this particular character. So Steph is not the ace character, not the ace rep that we want to talk about. There is another character in this book, which does not make an appearance in the video games. So I do want to talk about that and how well I think that was handled. But just to sort of contextualize Steph and her story and the place of this book in between the two games, Steph’s a very cool character and she was somewhat of a favorite of ours in terms of characters in the entire Life is Strange franchise, even before playing this book. Because–

Royce: Before playing the book?

Courtney: Before playing the book. [laughs] Playing the book and reading the games. It’s actually really funny. I remember at one point playing a video game that did have a lot of dialogue when I was younger and my mom was so confused. She’s like, “This isn’t even a game!” She’s like, “This is just reading.” Kind of reminds me of that– There’s a post I’ve seen online of someone whose grandmother thought that D&D was evil and of the devil, and so when their grandkid was going to play D&D she’s like, “I’m gonna sit here and watch you.” And she throws her hands up after a few minutes and was like, “This is just math!”

Courtney: But anyway, we saw Steph as a Dungeon Master in the first game’s prequel, Before the Storm, and that was just sort of a fun little thing. Like, oh, you can sit down and play a little– a quick little session of D&D with them. And then in Life is Strange: True Color, she like, helps to put on a whole– a whole role play for a little boy.

Royce: Like a LARP?

Courtney: Yeah.

Royce: It’s like a town wide thing. There are a variety of different shop owners or people around town who dress up and play some sort of role.

Courtney: Yeah, and she helped set up this LARP. And that was so precious. I was so happy when we get to the point in the game where we’re just setting up a LARP for a sad child.

Royce: Yeah, think of LARP as fitting. Some of it seemed a bit like RenFest oriented, except for it was all focused around one kid going on an adventure, basically, where townspeople were acting as the NPCs.

Courtney: Yeah, so good. Loved it so much. And Steph is one of the potential love interests in True Colors and she’s the one we went with. There’s– There’s also a guy that you can choose, who is nice. He’s a good guy, but he’s– he’s not love interest material, he’s more like a best friend type.

Royce: The local park ranger, was it?

Courtney: Yeah, the park ranger. But it’s actually in the DLC for True Colors that, dare I say, Steph heavily inspired us. Uh, because that just revolves around her. It is her alone in–

Royce: The record store.

Courtney: The record store, the um, little radio, radio booth where she works.

Royce: Yeah, because the record store was also the local radio station.

Courtney: Yeah.

Royce: And there was a booth, a broadcasting area.

Courtney: Yeah, in the back. And so we just have her like going about her day. Like, as she’s working, as she’s in this shop. And one of the moments in that game she’s playing D&D virtually with her old D&D friend from Arcadia Bay, whose name I cannot remember off the top of my head, can you?

Royce: Was it Mikey?

Courtney: Mikey! Yes, it was Mikey. And so she’s running a game just for him, which she has been doing for a long time. Was Mikey the only one playing in Before the Storm, before Chloe has an option to sit down and join them? It’s been a long time since we played that one.

Royce: I feel like the table was more full than that, but I don’t remember how many people.

Courtney: But Mikey was one of them, I do believe. And while we were playing this game, we just kind of looked at each other and we’re like, “Wow, a DM running a game for one person, that’s really sad.” And then we just waited a beat and looked at each other, and we were like, “Unless… Actually!” And that kind of inspired us to play one player D&D. So we have both taken turns running D&D for one another. So I’ve DM’d like Wild Beyond the Witchlight for Royce. Royce, you’ve been sort of using me as a guinea pig to test some of your original concepts, which has been great fun.

Royce: Yeah, we have each run– Well, not complete, we haven’t finished Witchlight, but we have each run something. I wrote a mid length adventure myself to just kind of test run, without getting too deep into a lot of details, and you ran that from the book.

Royce: I was just looking at the old documents and Wavelengths, the DLC for True Colors, came out at the end of September in 2001, and these documents were created in November of that year.

Courtney: Oh, no. [laughs] So we wasted no time. Direct inspiration from this game.

Royce: We finished the DLC, or finished the game, finished the DLC and then waited I don’t know a month.

Courtney: Yeah, that checks out. So Steph is very cool. Nerdy lesbian icon. We love her. Thank you for the D&D inspiration. Also, I want to run a small town LARP for a sad child someday. That’s my life goals. So let’s take a look at her life between these two games, though. So Arcadia Bay was destroyed. Her mother died. She has not yet moved to Haven Springs.

Royce: Which is the setting of True Colors.

Courtney: And this is sort of early adulthood period of life where you haven’t necessarily found your footing yet. You’re just sort of drifting, trying to find what you want to be, who you’re going to be, where you’re going next. And one of the first characters we’re introduced to, as a friend and co-worker of hers, is Jordie. And Jordie’s precious. We love him. He is the ace character in question in this book. And they work at, like, a nerdy coffee shop called Save Point, which apparently has the victory music from Final Fantasy sound when you open the door. And Steph runs D&D for not only Jordie but a group of their other friends. Often at this Save Point, at one of their– I guess they have gaming tables, because why not? Board game cafes are a thing that makes sense to me. And Jordi is described as: Jordie Abdullah, with a round brown face covered in fresh black stubble.

Courtney: He is also trans and another co-worker of theirs is a trans man also. And I kind of like the way this is presented because it’s presented early on in a casual enough conversation that it’s very clear that Steph is already aware. They’re already friends, they know all these things. Feels like a conversation that could very easily be had between friends and co-workers, where Jordie’s sort of telling Steph, as she comes in like, “Oh, thank goodness you’re here, Ollie didn’t show.” And Steph’s like, “Wow, so we hate Ollie today, yeah?” And Jordie just goes, “Nah, he’s out sick. Time of the month, can you cover for me for a sec? It’s T-time, plus I have to pee.” And of course she’s like, “Yeah, no problem.” And it’s really just as simple as that. Like, “He’s out sick, time of the month.” All right, that’s a trans man. “It’s T-time,” all right, Jordie also is.

Courtney: Now that that’s established, they get to just be characters who live their lives. I do also just really want to commend the– the punnery in this book. It is next level. Which I can appreciate. When someone comes to order at Save Point, they order a Cinnamon Roll For Initiative and an Eldritch Baja Blast. Oh! I love it so much. Shout out to all the sorcerers out there.

Royce: Warlocks?

Courtney: Oh my gosh! What did I just say?

Royce: We’re revoking your DM credentials.

Courtney: No! What did I just say?

Royce: Sorcerers.

Courtney: I said sorcerer?

Royce: Yeah.

Courtney: Oh no… What needs to be my punishment? My– One of my favorite characters is a warlock.

Royce: Yeah, that’s like your favorite class.

Courtney: [sighs] We’re rolling nat ones today, everybody! I’m so disappointed in myself. But yeah, we’re talking about the punnery. So we’ve got this hilarious menu. There’s a venue where a band is playing called Bar None. And there is a band called Vinyl Resting Place, which is such a good name for a band. I like it very much. We don’t like the band very much. We actually hate them because they’re mean to our precious girl, who becomes Steph’s love interest, who Jordie introduces her to. Her name is Izzie and she comes in to Save Point. And after establishing names, exchanging pleasantries, it says: “Jordie leans in conspiratorially, a twinkle in his warm brown eyes that almost always precedes some mischief. ‘You’re also both lesbians, discuss!’ And he hops up and ducks away.” I love Jordie. I also love the awkward conversation that follows that. “‘So what kind of lesbian are you?’ She asks. ‘The kind that likes girls?’ She nods and sips her smoothie. ‘Same, doesn’t get any better than that.’” And Jordie, seeing them fumbling, does come back and tries to play wingman a little bit more, and says, “And Steph’s a gamer gay, a gaymer if you will.” I can’t give full credit for that pun because I have heard it so many times.

Royce: Become too common.

Courtney: Too common. There are so many like– there are gaymer news outlets, there are gaymer like non-profit organizations, a lot of them actually. A lot of them. We even got a little shout out from Tabletop Gaymers last Ace Week, which was very surprising. I don’t know how they know about us, but we were getting tagged on, like, Ace Week as like, “Here are some ace gamers you need to know,” and they were like, “Courtney and Royce are the asexual dungeon masters.” And I was like where…? [sighs]

Royce: Surely there are others.

Courtney: [laughs] The thing is, I know probably half a dozen ace people who have made greater impacts on the wider, like, tabletop gaming community who are not us. So if anyone came to me to ask, like, “Hey, we want to shout out some ace gamers, who should it be?” I’d be like, “Great, here’s a list, here are the people you need to give flowers to.” And then, meanwhile us, we don’t even run it for, like, the wider community or the public. We don’t. Like, we just happen to have a group of ace friends that we run D&D for and we are ourselves ace. So that was very, very kind of them. But I was also incredibly confused as to why we were getting shouted out there. But Tabletop Gaymers is a very cool nonprofit. If you yourself are a gaymer, they sell, like, Pride dice in a variety of Pride colors, which are very cool, and they do have Ace Pride dice as well, which you can, I think, order directly from them online. But a lot of game stores might also just stock them and if you buy them from game stores, like, a certain percentage of the dice sales goes to the nonprofit. So that’s kind of cool. That’s good to know.

Courtney: So it comes to pass that Jordie and Ollie actually start dating and there are some really funny back and forths in some text chains, either in group chats or just between Steph and Ollie. For example, they are out in an event and Steph and Jordie and Ollie are all in a group chat, and Jordie just texts and says, “Oh, Ollie’s knee is hurting so I’m going to take him home. Do you want a ride or are you good?” Asking Steph. And Ollie says, “Wow, you’re not going to offer me a ride?” Jordie says, “I literally said I was driving you home.” Next text: “Never mind, I just got it. Oblivious ace strikes again.” And Ollie goes, “You misspelled adorable.”

Courtney: But then shortly thereafter, Jordie is now frantically texting Steph alone saying like, “Did you know Oliver liked me? Steph, what do I do if he kisses me?” And Steph in all caps, “LOL, kiss him back.” Jordie, “Right, but I mean, how?” “Like with your mouth?” “How am I supposed to breathe?” “I don’t know if you know this, Jordie, but when you have your first kiss, you actually grow gills.” Jordie responds with “[dot, dot, dot] Okay, so like through my nose. Huh, I am so stupid. Why does he like me?” Steph just says, “Because you’re stupid,” with a little heart emoticon. “It’s gonna be okay, man. Just talk to Ollie about it. He knows you’re ace and he’s not a dick. You can figure it out together.” Cute, I like it. It’s good. A lot of these text conversations are very good because they feel very realistic. That– Like I– I have texted people who text like this.

Royce: It’s interesting to be reading things now and seeing digital things like that pop up in books.

Courtney: [hums in agreement] It’s also really fascinating because while we were reading this, before we got to this point, I was getting an update from a friend of mine who started, or was starting, a new relationship with a woman who is a drummer. And I was literally getting a play by play of, like, “She was trying to help me tune my drums by phone by using voice notes. We were going back and forth, like, long distance trying to help me tune my drums,” in this very adorable, sapphic relationship where one of them is a trans woman. And so I was like, “Yep, that’s funny, that sounds about right.” Then I kid you not, like a day or two later, we pick up this book again to start reading and we get this text chain of Steph texting another drummer after just like getting a drum set saying, “SOS,” sending a picture of the drums. Response: “Have you never heard of a dust rag?” “Step one: cleaning. Got it. But for real, what do I do? I haven’t played in ages.”

Courtney: “Okay, for a start, you should tune the toms and your snare.” “You have to tune drums???” Three question marks. “Steph, teach me!” And I was like, wow.

Royce: It does happen.

Courtney: It does happen! And the fact– Because this is not very far into the book, we read just a couple of chapters, and after the first couple of chapters I get this play by play from real life long term friend. And then I read it in this book that was published several years ago at this point, so. I absolutely took a picture of that page and sent it to them and I was like, “Hmm, sounds familiar.” So I should say, as far as the plot itself, Steph and Izzie do start a relationship. It is very romantic. I would say it’s not like very explicitly– not like very graphically sexual as a read. But there is a lot of, like, very flowery language about, like, her lips and her skin, and the making out. In a way that, like, I don’t mind reading, since it doesn’t get much more graphic than that, but it’s very much like I cannot relate to these feelings at all. But there are incredible, like, new relationship highs. They are very, very into each other, they’re very, very attracted to each other. And Izzie once was a member of Vinyl Resting Place but we hate them now, and they’re mean to Izzie. So Izzie is no longer a member of Vinyl Resting Place and they’re dead to us. So Izzie and Steph decide to start a band together, just the two of them, and they’re going to call it Drugstore Makeup. Hey! We heard about Drugstore Makeup in Life is Strange: True Colors.

Royce: And I believe it was described as such as: “A band I used to be in with my ex.”

Courtney: Yes, that’s another really, really interesting facet of this. Because you see this love story start, you see how incredibly into each other they are, you see their relationship grow, you see their band grow. But you also kind of know in the back of your head, as a reader, that this relationship is doomed from the start. Because if you have played the third game, you know she is not still with Izzie. She describes the band as you being with an ex, and you know that you’re a potential love interest for the next main character in that. So it’s– it’s a fascinating glimpse because it still manages to be an exciting relationship. You still really like Izzie and a part of you, at least in the beginning, is rooting for Izzie and Steph, even if you know that they’re not going to end the book together. So I kind of like it.

Courtney: I kind of really, really like it because a lot of relationships are exciting and there are aspects of them that can be very good, but a lot of relationships also just don’t make it. Some of them have little toxic elements. Some of them have one or both parties that need to work on themselves a little bit more before they’re really ready for a relationship at this level. And those things do just happen in real life. But you don’t often get to read about that because usually in, like, a romance genre, normally you want to see them live happily ever after. Or it’ll go in a hard direction the other way and it’ll be like this is about a horribly toxic, abusive relationship. And this is neither of those. Like, they have their issues and you start seeing those cracks form and start to grow as time goes on, but you still want to root for them. You still want to like them. There are aspects that are very good, but you also just know that it’s not gonna be.

Courtney: I don’t know. I have never read a book where I already knew from a different piece of media, in this case video games, that this character, I know a little bit of her past and I know a little bit of her future, and this is a totally different glimpse of a part of her life between those two. And there’s just a part of it that feels so incredibly real. Because if you think of any relationships, whether it’s a romantic one or not, or even just a friendship that didn’t last, like, I have memories of wonderful snapshots in my life where, if you just look at it in a vacuum, like that relationship for that period of time or that friendship was very good but then something soured, something went very wrong. Like if you see the whole picture it becomes a lot less important. But you can kind of narrow the scope. And so like, for the sake of this book, like, this is just what we have to deal with. We’re taking a closer, longer, narrow look at this period in Steph’s life.

Courtney: And I’m so glad that Jordie gets to be a part of it. So not only does Jordie play D&D with Steph, but there are some, like, real world references in this that you don’t necessarily get in the games. I don’t think. Because here, for instance, as like big D&D nerds, they’re talking about Critical Role. Which I still have never watched. Some people have tried to get me to watch, but I have not watched Critical Role. But I know if you have ever played, or if you have ever watched a live play D&D show, chances are it’s Critical Role. Like that’s the big one that we know. But they watch Critical Role together and then you start seeing these little bits that at first don’t seem to be that big of a deal.

Courtney: But Steph skips out on watching Critical Role with Jordie and Ollie one night, for instance, and they’re like, “Oh okay, well, we’ll miss you.” And she’s instead going to be out with Izzie. And Jordie says like, “Oh, have fun! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” And Ollie says, “Counterpoint: do literally everything Jordie wouldn’t do.” And I just think that’s funny. I like their banter, and the dialogue and the text and the banter in this do sound very reminiscent of the way the characters talk in the games. So if that is an aspect that you really liked of the games, then I certainly recommend this book. They, as a group of queer friends, go to Pride on a couple of occasions.

Royce: This book is sectioned into seasons and… Do you remember exactly what time span it crosses? Is it a couple of years?

Courtney: I think it must be, but I didn’t keep track too terribly. But yeah, you’re right. I mean it’ll be like fall, summer, spring. I don’t know why I said those in reverse. They go in the normal order. But like we hit spring at least a couple of times because we go to Pride a couple of times. And it also just looks and sounds and feels like a Pride festival. I’ve been to Pride on a number of occasions. For instance, [reading] “Ollie and Jordie barrel toward us bedecked in glitter paint. Ollie carries Jordie on his shoulders, and Jordie wears the black, gray, white and purple striped Asexual Flag around his neck like a cape.” That is exactly what people do at Pride. Check.

Courtney: And here’s an example at this Pride festival of the sort of thoughts that Steph might get now and then, and how she starts pushing them down. So she’s at this Pride, she’s with her, you know, new girlfriend Izzie. She’s with her friends Ollie and Jordie. And it’s a good time. She’s saying she’s enjoying just being queer and existing. And she says, “I am happy. I repeat it to myself until it’s true. I hope somewhere Chloe is happy too. Me with Izzie, Chloe with Max. I met Chloe’s girlfriend a few years ago at a show. The High Seas were playing and I was helping to run things backstage. Max was cool, quiet and artsy, not at all the kind of girl I thought Chloe would go for, but they worked. Max knows the Chloe of before, before Rachel, before Chloe’s dad died, before the storm. Roll credits. Chloe found love by looking to her past, but me, I’m fully focused on the future. ‘Let’s go on a food mission,’ I say. I need to move, I need to eat, I need to think about something else. I turn to the others, ‘Any requests?’ ‘Cake!’ Jordie wails.”

Royce: Checks out.

Courtney: Checks out.

Royce: But just to note that little scene you read. We were talking about, earlier, how the games are the big piece of media in this franchise and it’s kind of expected that you played one or both. That scene where Steph met Max, I believe was in the comics, which we have not read.

Courtney: Oh… Yes, we have not read the comics. But you don’t have to, to know those things. Like in this timeline, which does match up with how we played the game, like Max and Chloe end up together for at least a while. So it makes sense that Chloe, knowing Steph, would, you know, introduce Max to her. And I don’t know. This– This book, showing like a relationship that can burn like really hot and bright but then just doesn’t hold together, sort of helps me appreciate the actual direction the games went even more. Because I kind of mentioned in the last episode that there were some players of Life is Strange: Double Exposure, where they brought Max back, who were upset that you could say, “Yes, I saved Chloe and we ended up with Chloe.” And then they’re like, “What the hell? Max is now, several years later, not with Chloe anymore. Why didn’t you honor my decision as a player to do that?”

Courtney: And I don’t mind that nearly as much as some other people did. Because Life is Strange 1 was also just a snapshot. Like, that’s a snapshot of their life during this big traumatic period and we saw them drive off together and go to start their life, but they are like 18. And there were elements of that relationship also that could be really cute, were very full of emotion, reasons why you might want to root for them, but they were also incredibly immature. Like, there were elements that could get a little toxic at times. Like many, many relationships in general are, but especially from people of that age. So no surprise to me that it didn’t ultimately work out forever. And having this book to sort of add to, I guess, the canon of the Life is Strange universe just sort of to me reconfirms that each of these games is just a– just a tableau, just a snapshot period of time of someone’s life. And I think that’s fitting with Max too, because, like, Max loses the powers at the end of that game. So that game is about this period of time where she had the powers, and the follow up game with Max, things are different now and people do change.

Courtney: So help me remember some of the things that start going wrong. Some of them don’t seem like a big deal at first, but then it becomes a pattern.

Royce: Yeah, there are a lot of cracks that start forming over time. Steph and Izzie are in a relatively young relationship. They are in a band together. They are living together in sort of a tight living situation as well.

Courtney: Yeah, they move in together probably too soon.

Royce: They’re kind of balancing the working a job and being in a band and doing gigs and trying to ride the line on: are we actually at a point where we could financially stay afloat if we try to do this full time at one point? But Steph has a lot of trauma from Arcadia Bay and is a bit closed about it, is not really willing to fully open up and say everything that there is there. And that is an issue. Izzie is very insecure in general. This manifests itself a lot at performances or after performances. She’s very driven to kind of audit those performances and pick them apart and try to improve by any means necessary. And ends up also isolating herself quite a bit. Particularly after the performances. One thing that comes up regularly is Steph is frequently like riding the high of a performance and wants to celebrate and hang out with everyone and have fun, and Izzie immediately just leaves the area and either goes to decompress or to–

Courtney: Write something new.

Royce: To try to improve on the performance as it was. But communication is an issue. They both independently could use some therapy for various things in their life.

Courtney: Yeah, yeah. And like, Steph starting to distance from other friends. Like that first time that she’s missing Critical Role to be with Izzie instead. Like that first time as a one-off is not an issue. No one’s mad about that, everyone’s like, “Good for you, go have fun.” But then it comes a point where she hasn’t done that in a while.

Royce: And that’s something that happens a lot when someone gets into a new relationship.

Courtney: Yes.

Royce: But it can– For someone to follow that passion in a relationship and separate themselves, unintentionally, from everyone just because they’re excited, that can be isolating in a way that you don’t always immediately recognize.

Courtney: Mm-hmm, yeah. And Jordie kind of as a co-worker, as a friend, sort of, here is like knows when things aren’t going well and he’s been there to witness sometimes when Izzie just totally disappears. And Steph doesn’t really understand it. And Steph doesn’t really feel good about it. So he– he knows when they’re fighting. And he also knows that when they’re fighting is when they make really big decisions, like moving in together and things like that. And so when Izzie finally does say like, “Hey, the band’s getting big enough, I think if you quit your job we could do this full time.” Jordie is over it. It says: [reading] “Quitting is easier said than done. Jordie roasts me way more than the beans we use for coffee over it all. ‘So you’re telling me your solution to fighting with your girlfriend is to quit your job?’ He says in a lull between customers. ‘What? Who said that?’ I ask. ‘You did! It’s your MO.’ Jordie throws up his hands and crosses over to the sink to tick off my many offenses on his fingers.”

Courtney: [reading] “‘First you fought with Izzie, so you told her you loved her. Then you fought with Izzie, so you moved in with her. Now you fought with Izzie, so you’re quitting your job. Before you know it, you’re going to be one of those people who has a baby instead of getting divorced.’ I make a face. ‘Now that’s some heterosexual nonsense.’ ‘More like allosexual nonsense.’ I shoot Jordie a disdainful look. ‘Who are you to talk, Mr Also in a relationship?’ ‘I love Ollie, but if we were fighting like you and Izzie, I’d be single again before you could blink.’ Jordie shrugs. ‘It’s gotta be exhausting, right? Like I’m tired just thinking about being that anxiously attached.’” And it really is allosexual nonsense, because they have these moments where they fight, but then you get this like, like I said earlier, very flowery language, like, yeah, they just had a fight, but now it’s like, “I fall into her arms and I– I gently press my lips against hers, and–” I am– The author did a much better job of writing than than I am. I assure you. [laughs]

Courtney: So you get these– Like, all of a sudden she’s like so into Izzie again and they’re kissing, they’re cuddling, like she’s like, “Yeah, I love this woman.” And then like, yeah, they do have a big fight or they do have some miscommunications, but it just goes back and forth, back and forth. And so a period of time after that conversation, Jordie once again notices something’s wrong. It’s after a gig, they go to watch Drugstore Makeup and of course Izzie disappears again, as she does. And Jordie says, “Everything okay with you two?” And Steph’s like, “Of course, why wouldn’t it be?” And Jordie’s like, “Fine, okay, don’t tell me.” Steph’s like, “No, there’s nothing to tell, we’re fine.” Finally Jordie cracks.

Courtney: [reading] “‘I can’t tell if you’re bullshitting me or not right now. So I’m gonna be straight with you.’ I chuckle, ‘At Pride? That’s homophobic.’ ‘Ha, ha, yes, wordplay.’ He deadpans. ‘But really, Steph, if you think everything’s fine, you’re not paying attention.’ I groan. ‘I know Izzie’s just– She gets weird after we play.’ ‘I’m not talking about Izzie.’ Jordie presses, ‘I mean you.’ ‘Me?’ ‘Yes,’ Jordie lets out a long exasperated breath. ‘Look, I’m not gonna pretend I know you on some kind of deep soul level, but it’s pretty apparent to everyone that you’ve changed.’ ‘Is this about Save Point? Oh my god, Jordie, it was just a job.’ ‘It’s not about the job, it’s about everything else, Steph. When was the last time you hung out with me and Ollie on purpose?’ I opened my mouth ready to list any number of events we’ve all attended together over the past few months, but he cuts me off, ‘And your own gigs absolutely don’t count. What about like we used to? It’s been ages since we’ve played D&D or had a movie night and you’re way behind on Critical Role.’”

Courtney: That also just hurts so much because that paints a picture of like, Jordie is still showing up for her. He is going to watch the band, he is going to their gigs, but absolutely unreciprocated. And then he says something that’s it– This, this one hurt. This one was like a dagger to the heart. I was like, yes, Jordie, drag her. Get her, Jordie. “How long has it been since you’ve rolled a d20, Steph?” Oh, finish her!

Courtney: So now Jordie and Steph are fighting, and Steph and Izzie are fighting. And they do try to enter this Pride Month Battle of the Bands thing, and with Izzie’s insecurities it really doesn’t go over very well. And so they once again fall into this toxic pattern of behavior where they’re not feeling good, they aren’t necessarily doing well individually or as a couple, so they make another really big decision. They’re like, “Hey, let’s go on tour, let’s go on tour together.” And they’re like, “Yes, this will be good, this will be fun, let’s do it.”

Courtney: And if it wasn’t already a long time coming, that was definitely the final nail in the coffin for their relationship. But I do like this conversation that Steph has with Jordie later on, where she goes to apologize to him and he confesses, “Well, it felt like you ditched me for your girlfriend, basically.” And Steph wants to argue with him, and you see this conflict in her head where she’s like, “No, I didn’t…” But then she’s like, “Oh, I– Yeah, yeah, I guess I did.” And Jordi says, “Sometimes it feels like, as an ace person, I’m like a waypoint for my friends, a rest stop to hang out until they find their person. It’s like I’m a benchwarmer until you find someone better. I know that’s not how you meant it to feel, but that’s just how it goes for me. All through college I was just that friend people had until they found a partner and then I’d get left behind. You’re one of my best friends, Steph, and I like having you in my life. Just because you have Izzie and I have Ollie doesn’t mean we aren’t still us, you know?”

Courtney: And I think that’s put really, really well. Because even though this ace character does happen to have a boyfriend, he is in a relationship, so many aces I know, whether they’re in a relationship or not, whether they want a relationship or not, place a high value on friendship in a way that, I’m not going to say is more important than allosexual people, but I do think it’s fair to say it’s done with more intention than the average allosexual person. And so when, naturally, as we knew this, this relationship is doomed to fail, and it does, the tour does not go well. It is during this tour that Steph discovers Haven Springs, and for those of you who have played that game, it’s kind of fun. Even though the main relationship focus of this book is at its breaking point by this time, you see Steph meeting new people, seeing a new place. It’s definitely the precursor and the lead in to Steph moving here and what gets her to this place for the next game.

Courtney: And I think it was done very, very well. Having made up with Jordie more, he’s sort of the one that Steph is first to text and let him know when things go wrong, to let him know what her next plans are. And we also kind of know throughout this that at this period of time Steph has sort of stopped talking to anyone and everyone who’s still alive from Arcadia Bay. But we know from the game she does reconnect with Frankie at some point. So I’d also like to consider that. Because we do see Steph’s mental health journey. Like she gets to a point where she admits that she’s dealing with depression. Specifically mentioned in this as a possibility is a seasonal affective disorder. And so we see her sort of have to come to terms with that. And I’d like to think as part of that and moving to this new place and meeting these new people, and trying to better herself and her own mental health, that maybe a portion of that healing is reaching back out to Frankie. And maybe understanding the value of friendships and having these hard conversations with Jordie, who’s not bullshitting her and tells her like it is.

Courtney: Maybe those two things together really helped them to reconnect virtually and start playing D&D again. The end. That’s my takeaway anyway. I had fun reading this book. I thought it was a very good novel in supplement to the games from a character that we already very much appreciated from the franchise.

Courtney: And, as I said in the last episode, Rosiee Thor is an author who has done more books. And, truth be told, a number of years ago, I think back in 2022, someone said, “Hey, you should read Fire Becomes Her. There’s really good aspec rep in there.” And so I, like, took a note of that book. And then I saw– Because my list of books to read are a million years long, I’m never gonna read all of them because it’s ever growing. You know how it goes. But I did also notice that when I put Fire Becomes Her on my list, that Tarnished Are The Stars was also there from the same author.

Courtney: And I was like, “Oh, let me look up this author. What’s the deal?” So I looked up Rosiee Thor on social media and that’s when I saw a post about Life is Strange: Steph’s Story. And I was like, “Hey, we played those games. We liked Steph, we played D&D just the two of us now because of that character in particular.” So that one jumped right to the head of the line in our to read list and I really enjoyed it. So I would absolutely be interested in reading more from this author. And I recommend all of you look up Rosiee Thor, look through these books, see if any of them strike your fancy. If, for some reason, you’ve listened to all of this and Life is Strange: Steph’s Story isn’t your cup of tea, maybe you’ll find it elsewhere.

Courtney: But on that note, I like this as just ace rep, in general. I thought everything felt realistic. It felt like somebody I know. It felt like someone I could know. You got little things in there like cake, which is going to resonate with ace people but might go over the heads of non ace people. You have the Pride. You have the Pride Flag mentioned. Some just like oblivious banter that feels very realistic to an ace experience. And then you have the heavier conversations about feeling like you’re getting discarded for your friends’ romantic relationships, which is a very common ace experience. So I think it’s done very well. We also have a trans man who is ace, which we need so much more of in media in general. I love it, happy to see it.

Courtney: So, on that note, today’s featured MarketplACE vendor is Inks Shop. If you, like me, enjoy punnery and video games you should check them out. There are t-shirts and small nerdy fantasy type merch made by your local ace monster artist. For our D&D pun lovers, I could not resist getting a Tea-Fling. You have two little tiefling uh demony boys, one looks just properly nefarious, flinging tea on the other one. So that’s T-E-A-Fling. Very cute. You also have some Zelda puns. We’ve got KeeseAss, little Keese bat guy with a plump little booty. And a very cute little axolotl shirt also that says Axolotl Energy. So very cute things. Definitely check it out. As always, links are going to be in the description, in our show notes on our website and in the description on YouTube. So, as always, thank you all so much for being here. We’ll put a link for places. You can also purchase Life is Strange: Steph’s Story in those same places and we will talk to you all next time. Goodbye.