Weird Allo Reality Shows 4

Transcript Transcribed by Laura M.

Courtney: Hello everyone and welcome back. My name is Courtney, I am here with my spouse, Royce, and together we are The Ace Couple and we are back for round four of Weird Allo Reality Shows. I have four new shows to speak with you about today. A couple of them are pretty standard weird allo reality shows, but we’ve got a couple of weird ones in there too, so I think today’s going to be fun. Actually, let’s start with one of the weird ones, much like– I think it might have been our first Weird Allo Reality Show episode, I threw in like The Circle in there because, even though it’s a sort of a game show and dating isn’t the focus, some people were flirting with each other.

Royce: That was a tactic, yeah.

Courtney: And when the entire premise is these people might be deceiving and catfishing you, how does that work? It’s so silly to me. We’ve got another one kind of along those same lines, for we recently watched Million Dollar Secret.

Royce: Oh yeah, the premise of that one was… It was basically a not quite a like ‘who’s the saboteur’ social strategy game. There were a group of people and there was one amongst them that was secretly The Millionaire. They all had boxes, most of them had empty boxes, briefcases. One of them had the million dollars that the winner would go home with. And the goal of this was to have all of the money at the end of the game. And all of the other people were trying to deduce who had the money so that they could set themselves up to get it by the end, basically. And this was a process where they were doing challenges to gain clues. They had a segment at the end of each day where they would vote someone out. And there was plenty of downtime in between them, in between all of this, for everyone to just talk.

Courtney: Yeah, and of course, watching this one, I didn’t go into it thinking this is gonna make it onto our next Weird Allo Reality Show episode, because–

Royce: You just needed some filler background stuff because you were doing things.

Courtney: Yeah, and it’s not dating. That’s not the premise. It’s not about love, it’s not about sex, it’s about winning a million dollars, which to me feels like a good old fashioned game show. And there is some strategy, there’s some deception, there’s trying to give yourself as many advantages as you can. And then the element of voting people off, whether because you think they’re the millionaire and the money will get redistributed if you vote them off, or just a really strong player you don’t want there anymore.

Royce: And speaking of this being more of a social strategy game show, not a dating show, the people in it were also mostly not the groups of people that you would see on dating shows, who are pretty much all like young singles. A lot of the– There were a couple of older people here. There were most of the people I think had, like, families. They were married, had kids, that kind of thing.

Courtney: Yeah, so there was a mix of, you know, lifestyle types, I guess one could say. And yet! And yet, knowing full well that at any given time someone is lying to you and trying to not get caught, and even everyone else who might not be the millionaire yet wants to be, so they’re going to be playing some kind of strategy to try to get ahead. So once again, I’m thinking surely nobody’s going to be, like, flirting or trying to start a relationship, because how could you trust it, even if you did? And yet, the allos always find a way to disappoint me.

Royce: There was one guy.

Courtney: One guy! This fucking guy. I think his name was Chris. Does that sound right, was it Chris?

Royce: Chris, yeah, the entrepreneur/CEO.

Courtney: Yep, he brought that up a lot. And that was funny too, because one of the clues they got at one point was like the millionaire is lying about their job. Because some people came in totally honest about what they were doing and who they were. Some people, as part of a strategy, were lying about personal details, about their life, in case that ended up mattering at some point. And when everyone’s like, “Oh, the millionaire is lying about their job.” This guy was like, “Well, you all know I’m an entrepreneur. I run my business. I work 16 hour days.” And everyone’s like, “How could we possibly know you’re not lying?” And he was just so adamant and so aghast that anyone would disbelieve that he is an entrepreneur. Although I do think it was kind of funny because one of the guys at one point laughed and was like, “Yeah, Chris gave me his business card.” Which– don’t bring your business cards to a reality show to give to other contestants, just don’t, don’t do it.

Courtney: I’ve gotten to a point where I hardly even like getting business cards at business networking events anymore. I’m over it. So this guy, before we even get into the allo nonsense, like I need you to understand the type of guy that this is. Not only was being an entrepreneur his personality, but he was also consistently over inflating his skills and knowledge and abilities. And he was always talking about how he’s playing such a strong game, even though the girl he ended up crushing on was probably the fiercest competitor the entire time. So, compared to her, he was not playing a strategic game. And one of the clues was about a movie. It was like, oh, the millionaire had a secret objective that’s based on a famous horror movie or something. And the objective was like get two people to scream by the end of the day.

Royce: It was a very obvious one.

Courtney: And that seems so obvious. And it’s like, oh, famous horror movie. And this guy was like, “I am a huge movie buff.” He was like, “I can do this.” He’s like, “I’m a big movie buff, I’m going to figure this out.” And oh, what was the context? He was like mixing up two horror movies. Someone was like, oh, what’s the one with the ski mask? And he was like, “Oh, that’s Friday the 13th.”

Royce: There was a mix-up between, like, Halloween and Friday the 13th. That whole bit was agonizing because–

Courtney: [laughs] It really was.

Royce: The producers must have wanted to get this poor guy out. He had like–

Courtney: Such a hard job.

Royce: A hard task as The Millionaire to try to complete without drawing attention to yourself, and then the clue was a dead giveaway. But this group of like 10 adults couldn’t think of the name of the Scream franchise for an extended amount of time.

Courtney: When they all heard him and several other people scream earlier.

Royce: They called attention to it as it happened, like maybe that was the objective.

Courtney: They’re like, “That’s weird, why would they just start screaming like that?” And so and yeah, the fact that they couldn’t come up with Scream, I was sitting here, I’m like I haven’t even seen that movie and I know it is a movie. [chuckels] It seems so obvious to me. But then when Chris is like, “I’m a movie buff,” and he’s mixing up two movies that I also have not seen, but I knew he was mixing them up.

Courtney: So this guy wants to, like, form some kind of alliance with Sydney, who was playing such a strong game that she was consistently, like, under the microscope, lots of people were like, “She is too good.” She’s doing these challenges really well, she’s consistently on the winning team, and yet she managed to not get herself eliminated, despite being suspect many times. And she was really good at a lot of the actual challenges.

Courtney: And so this Chris approaches her and they’re like in a swimming pool or a hot tub or something. So he just starts, like, flirting with her. And it was so funny because in his confessional he is just so starry eyed over this girl and he was like, “I feel like the nerd who just went on a date with the model.” Which was also very weird and uncharacteristic of him, because everything else he had set up to this point was, like, very overinflated sense of self. Seemingly. So the fact that he’s now like, “I’m just the nerd.” It’s like, well, ten minutes ago you were the CEO, hard ass businessman rising and grinding 16 hour days. Now you’re the nerd, okay. And in her confessional immediately after she’s like, “Yeah, I mean, I’m not unattractive, so why wouldn’t I use that to my advantage, if I can?” So she, like, absolutely saw what was going on with this and was like, “Yeah, I guess I could use that.”

Royce: The whole cast saw what was going on. They called attention to it.

Courtney: That was the funniest part. Because the rest of the cast started ribbing this guy about it, both to his face and when he was out of the room. And I was dying because one of the cast members was like, “Oh, he’s so whipped.” And that was such a blast from the past. I was like– I had to do, like, a mental double take. I was like, I can’t remember the last time I earnestly heard someone say he’s whipped, but there was definitely a period of time where I was hearing that phrase frequently and it’s been a minute. So everyone’s like, “Yeah, he totally is. He totally is. Sydney has him whipped.”

Courtney: And there was, like, something that went down where they, like, got upset with each other. I don’t remember the circumstances, but I do remember that hot mess of an elimination dinner where they all get together, they talk about their thoughts before they vote to see who’s going home. And the host of this show who, by the way – because this is going to come up later – I loved the host of this show because it felt like there was actually a reason for him to be there. He was his own character. He fit in the story of this setting and this world. And it was unique and a persona, not just like a generic person. And he was present every single day for every single challenge and every elimination dinner, whereas some reality shows lately it’s like, why do you even have a host? What is the point of this host?

Royce: He was definitely a ‘most interesting man in the world’ type, like trope character. And they played into that intentionally being a bit ridiculous. Like–

Courtney: It was great.

Royce: Here is where the million dollars is coming from, it’s why you’re in this lavish estate. It’s why all of these games were being played.

Courtney: Well because, yeah, he was also like a millionaire. So he’d be like, “There’s only one millionaire in this room… aside from me.” Or the challenge would be like, “I need my very pretentious whiskey. You need to go to the mountains and get the correct ice off of a glacier.” So it was very funny and surprisingly refreshing. Bring back hosts that make sense for the shows that they’re on. But he commented, because he sort of starts and facilitates the conversation at the elimination dinner. And he was asking this guy like– Oh actually, no, he wasn’t asking him. That’s why this was great. He was asking Sydney. He’s like, “Sydney, you two have, you know, had a little bit of a falling out after all this blah, blah, blah. And Chris said you were really close, but are you two still close?”

Courtney: And before she could even open her mouth, this guy jumped in to speak over her, saying, “Yes! We are, we’re still close. We had a tough moment, you know? But we’re two adults and we talked it out. And you know any personal relationship is going to be tough, but we iron them out and become all the better for it.” Like this– This monologue he gave seemed so panicked, by the way. Like if he says it aloud fast enough, it will become true. But it also seemed like the kind of monologue that you would actually hear during the traditional weird allo reality shows, where everyone’s trying to pretend like they’re growing substantially as people during these, like, sadistic challenges. And the host was having none of it. After he got done with all of this, he was just like, “Yeah, why don’t I let Sydney answer that question?” And turn back to her, which was also great.

Courtney: Because that’s another thing we’re going to talk about when we get to Sneaky Links and a little bit Pop The Balloon also. I just– I want more hosts of TV shows to actually call out the contestants for their bullshit. I really do. I want– I want them to call it out because so many of these people are so insufferable. And it’s great when the host is like, “Mh, yeah, no, take a seat, I wasn’t talking to you.”

Courtney: And he ended up going home well before Sydney because she made it very far. When he got eliminated, he was trying to take credit for the fact that Sydney was not going home, which is ludicrous. Because he actually said this too, and he was like, “Oh I’m– I saved the princess.” He was literally talking as if he is a knight in shining armor, as if he took the fall for her and he’s the only reason why she’s still in the game, despite being probably the best player in the entire show, at least one of them.

Courtney: But the thing that was most absurd about that was that particular night, only one person’s vote mattered. The like– That was like, the millionaire got a huge bonus, they did the secret challenge and all of sudden, like, they get a kill shot. Whoever they vote for is going home. It’s not majority rules tonight.

Courtney: So he got eliminated from one person’s vote who knocked him down strategically and he’s like, “I saved the princess! And we’re so very close!” Like my guy, what are you doing? So, yeah, all in all, that was an entertaining enough show. I mean, for my purposes of I just need some background noise while I’m, like, answering emails and things, perfectly acceptable show. Far, far more sufferable than the traditional weird allo reality shows, because those, even if they’re just in the background and I’m trying to get through them, they are such a slog. They are such a slog. And I’m happy to make fun of the one goofy dude who, like makes bad choices because he’s smitten by the hot girl in the context of a strategy game. I’m so okay with just laughing at that guy. But in a show where everyone is that guy? I can’t handle it.

Courtney: So, speaking of Sneaky Links–

Royce: By the way, is that a phrase that you heard before the show? Did they make it up for the show?

Courtney: Oh, I’m sure they made it up for the show. It was nauseating. This– The– the full title of the show too. I– I was so baffled, and that’s why I had to watch it, because I knew I was gonna hate it. But I thought, okay, it can probably be a podcast episode. But it’s called Sneaky Links: Dating After Dark. But what does that mean?! What does that mean?

Royce: Yeah, I was in and out while that was on, I was around. I was surprised by how much they must have pushed that branding on the competitors, because the people on the show were saying that all the time.

Courtney: They were saying it way too much. And I actually have this in my notes too. Because yeah, so here’s the premise. It’s so similar to so many other shows that at this point are bleeding together for me, like most of them don’t even have a unique enough hook that I can, in my memory, differentiate them from one another. Like, I guess MILF Manor, like yeah, that was the one with the moms and the sons. But all the other things? Like, what, Too Hot to Handle? Temptation Island? Did I even watch Temptation Island, or is that just on my list? I don’t know.

Royce: I don’t remember.

Courtney: So many of them just bleed together. No, I think Too Hot to Handle was the one with the asexual traffic cone, wasn’t it?

Royce: I think so.

Courtney: Okay, so that one. That one did have one weird little hook.

Royce: What was the one you were wondering about?

Courtney: Temptation Island.

Royce: I don’t see it.

Courtney: I haven’t even seen Temptation Island.

Royce: I see: Love is Blind, Married at First Sight, Too Hot to Handle, Marriage or Mortgage–

Courtney: Oh, that one was great though.

Royce: And Sexy Beasts.

Courtney: Not great.

Royce: Then there was The Ultimatum: Queer Love. Which was a separate episode. Then…

Courtney: Yeah, I heard they’ve got another season coming out too.

Royce: More Love is Blind, because Swedish.

Courtney: Ah yes.

Royce: Perfect Match. 20 Somethings Austin.

Courtney: See, Perfect Match I think was really similar to a bunch of other ones, I assume.

Royce: Dated and Related was another one. [Courtney sighs] And then, yeah, on the last episode you did MILF Manor, Love Island, Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, and Later Daters.

Courtney: Love Island, maybe that was one. So there was an island in there though.

Royce: You have watched some show about an island.

Courtney: An island and people who have a lot of sex. [laughs] These shows are melting my brain. So Sneaky Links: Dating After Dark. I saw just the thumbnail for this and I was like, “What do you mean dating after dark?” You put the phrase after dark behind things that are implying like this is going to be more risque than the average thing. And it’s like– But all of these shows are already risque to the same degree. And also like dating and you’re bringing like the entire premise of your show is to bring sexy people that like to have sex together. Like it’s, it’s already– It’s already after dark. What is dating after dark?! And so I was already like, “Bad branding, I hate it. Let’s watch it.”

Courtney: So, as with many shows in this genre, these people say they want love in a deeper connection, but all they ever do is keep things casual and convenient. So they have a host here saying, “You have been brought here with the person you love having casual sex with.” That’s right. They’re doing the same thing that other shows do, where they’re like: here are people that never have real relationships, they just hook up a lot, but can we make them have a real relationship for once? Or will they just continue having a lot of sex with different people? Let’s find out.

Courtney: But the twist with this one is they’re bringing in everyone’s fling or past relationship or whatever the situation is, and they call them their sneaky links. We’ve brought your sneaky link. And all of these people coming in don’t seem shy about this fact. So many of them are like, “Yeah, we’ve been hooking up casually for several years.” One’s like, “Yeah, we met through a mutual friend group and we’re all friends with each other, but we’ve been hooking up for a while.” Or one relationship was actually a relationship at one point, and they were like, “Yeah, back several years ago, our parents thought we were gonna end up together. We, like, started dating in high school or something.” And so sneaky kind of like implies like, oh, you’ve got a little secret, you’ve got to–

Courtney: Maybe some of these people were secretly hooking up in their real life, but they’re also coming on a dating show and admitting to hooking up with a lot of people. That doesn’t seem very sneaky to me. Like, am I wrong? [chuckles] And no, I have never heard this phrase before. Is this a phrase in, like, another country? I think the host was British, which, this host is a host that did not need to be there, for one. I don’t remember her name. She hardly added anything of substance to the show.

Royce: Apparently that phrase got popular on TikTok.

Courtney: Oh no.

Royce: It’s from a song that was released in 2020.

Courtney: Okay, so Netflix is trying to be like how do you do fellow kids?

Royce: Pretty much.

Courtney: Yeah, so I’d never heard this and it’s bad, it’s really really bad. Because then– And nobody was saying the word sneaky link until they met the host and this relationship expert and they were like, “You came here with your sneaky links.” Like in their confessionals they’re being like, “Yeah, we, we hooked up or had a fling,” like they’re using all of their own words. No one’s saying sneaky link. And now the host sits here and goes: “This is a test to see if you can leave your sneaky link ways behind once and for all.” And then all of a sudden, everybody is using the word sneaky link. They’re like, “I’m here with my sneaky link.” And everyone is saying that so often in their confessionals, it’s sitting somewhere between creepy and nauseating for me.

Courtney: Like you can tell from the moment the host introduced that phrase, all the producers are like, “This is what you have to call this person.” It’s bad branding because sneaky links, even if it’s a TikTok thing, it’s weird. It’s a weird phrase. And, again, doesn’t seem all that secretive. Doesn’t seem all that sneaky to me. Not these people going on reality TV, not that sneaky. So bad branding, yes. But also kind of weird and culty. Because nobody was using this phrase until the host did and the show’s premise was set and now everybody’s using it all the time. And it really did just start to feel like, yeah, this is– this is like when the cult says you can’t use this word anymore, you have to use this word.

Courtney: And then I just started thinking for a while. I had to pause the show and just start thinking about how many shows could actually, like, use cult tactics in these reality shows. Because, like, they can’t go anywhere. They’re all, like, stuck together, their whole world, their– their schedule, everything is being controlled to some extent during these shows. And then, add on to that, they’re like, “You have to use this language. You have to do–” It gets very weird, very quick the longer you think about it. But their options here are basically to see if your sneaky link is actually the one, or if you can set your sneaky link aside and focus on someone else.

Royce: And so did this end up working? Like, all of these people were dating around and trying to find someone, but if people were ever cut off from any other link, like they didn’t have an active match, were they eliminated?

Courtney: Kind of sometimes. Sometimes it was like that. Because, like, there was one instance where as soon as a couple decided that they weren’t gonna try to make it work as like, “Oh, we are sneaky links, but can we actually have a real relationship instead?” As soon as they were like, “Yeah, I don’t think so.” They got eliminated. Which seemed counter to the premise. Because by the time they made that choice, and it showed them going to this like elimination dinner thing, they didn’t really have time to try to pursue a connection with anyone else after that point. And the original premise was, yeah, you can date and make a connection with anyone here, it can be your sneaky link or it can be someone else’s. So that seemed odd.

Courtney: But they have this relationship expert, right? Which I think I’m always going to roll my eyes about. I haven’t yet encountered a situation where someone purported to be a relationship expert I have any ounce of trust in. So I won’t say never, but I haven’t yet trusted a relationship expert. And her name is Spicy Mari and of course she has, like, curated activities for people – which put a pin in that. But at first, like who goes and who stays seems to be like the total subjective opinion of this Spicy Mari, or at least that’s how the show presents it. I don’t know if it is fully this actual woman’s choice or if it’s producers in her ear. But yeah, she’ll look at someone and be like, “Oh, you decided you can’t make it work, okay, goodbye.” Without really giving them time to try to date around, I guess.

Courtney: Until new people start showing up, because, much like other shows in this genre, they have to have a twist. And after a couple days, when some people are starting to pair off, they’re like, “Ooh, but here’s new sexy people! Can you still stay with that person when presented with someone new?” Which is always weird, and they always present it as if this is this huge twist and it’s gonna throw a big wrench in things and I don’t understand any of it. But after they start introducing new people, then sometimes it’s up to the other cast members, like, they invite a new people in for 24 hours and then at the end of that 24 hours, it’s up to the other cast members to decide if they want these people to stay.

Courtney: Which, of course, is only designed to build tension because, theoretically, all of these people are already coupled up or are trying to couple up with someone. And so then they’re going to sit there and make them be like, “Yeah, I want to keep this person here longer because I would like to get to know them better for more than a day.” So then the other person side eyeing them going like, “What the hell?” And hearing like all the conversations too– And here’s why I also found, like, the sneaky link branding to be an issue, not only do I hate this phrase, not only do I think dating after dark is fundamentally a silly thing to say.

Royce: Isn’t that when a lot of dates happen anyway?

Courtney: Yeah. Certainly in this show. But then, like, all of the pairs of people who are, you know, sneaky links, they all actually have very different histories from one another. Like they aren’t all just, “We’ve been casually hooking up and that’s all there’s ever been to it.” Like I said, one couple was actually like a couple for a while. And so hearing them all talk about it, it’s like what even is the definition of a sneaky link? These all seem like different histories. And so they pair off the sneaky links to have conversations in their own confessionals and you find that, like, someone got, like, really hurt and ended up ghosting the other. Because she, like, flew all the way across the country to meet him and, when she got there, he was preoccupied with other girls and like not even paying attention to her for these couple days, even though she flew in to see him. And it’s like, okay, yeah, that guy seems like a jerk and it doesn’t sound like you’re still sneaky links. It sounds like you tried to meet up for a hookup and she didn’t like you and broke it off. So that, okay.

Courtney: There was one couple where the guy was like, “Yeah, I want to see where this goes.” And the gal was like, “No, you’re gonna find someone else.” And then there was one situation that was really painful to hear about because it sounded just like a total– I don’t even want to say miscommunication, just an utter lack of communication. Because the woman was crying, saying how she is consistently feeling hurt when she sees this guy with other girls, but they’ve been each other’s consistent booty calls for a long time and she’s always upset when he sees other people. But they never technically discussed the terms of the hookup. So she’s just like resigned herself to feeling upset about this instead of having a conversation. And then there are some that were just like very casually, like, “Wow, we’ve been sleeping together for so long but I don’t actually know anything about you at all.”

Courtney: So, like by the show’s definition, I thought for sure Sneaky Link was just gonna be like, like yeah, consistent booty calls, like a recurring fling, casual, no strings attached, that’s kind of what it sounds like. But then you have all these other situations and it’s like really the only common thread here is that all of these people, under various circumstances, have slept with the other person and they are not currently in a committed, like, monogamous relationship with them. Like that, that’s the only thing. So like, yeah, not even halfway through the first episode and I was already rolling my eyes. Because I am just sick to death of this ‘try to get promiscuous people to settle down while making it as hard as possible for them’ genre of reality show. Because that’s what so much of this is. That’s what the traffic cone was. I’m pretty sure that’s what the island one was.

Royce: It’s a common theme.

Courtney: It’s a common theme!

Royce: Wasn’t [sighs] was the island one–?

Courtney: I don’t know.

Royce: The one where they had a big pot of money but every time they did something sexual they lost money, but they were– they had games that encouraged them to do sexual things?

Courtney: Was that the island one, or was that the traffic cone one?

Royce: I don’t know.

Courtney: I tell you they all bleed together because it’s all the same premise. And they’ll go on with all of these people and they’ll ask them questions like what is your body count? In a large group setting so you’re all in front of everyone. Because, yes, obviously– And this is the relationship expert here too, with like all of them in the room and, “I’m a relationship expert, so what’s your body count? Please tell everyone in this room and the person you’re sleeping with and the person you’re trying to form a relationship with and the audience of millions of people, please tell everyone your body count.” Because, yes, obviously the relationship expert knows best and this, specifically, is something that will help them find love and is definitely not designed to be a way to stir up drama amongst the cast or, you know, simply get the audience to gawk at the slutty, slutty people on their TVs.

Courtney: And this was like the other thing that seemed vaguely culty to me. Like, yeah, everyone’s now using their very specific, awkward language and just shoehorning it into every single conversation in a very unnatural fashion, but now this Spicy Mari – who, mind you, is not the host. I don’t remember the host’s name because they never said the host’s name. They were always just talking about Spicy Mari, because she’s the one calling the shots, she’s the one creating the challenges, she’s the one deciding who stays and who goes. And they’re always like, “Gosh. I hope Spicy Mari can see that I’m really trying to set aside my sneaky link ways.” And they talk about her– Well, I mean, she’s the cult leader, clearly. But they’re talking about her as if they, like, really want to make her proud of them. Which begs the question, what’s the point of having the host of the show? Why cannot Spicy Mari be the host of the show and the relationship expert? They really do not need both of them.

Royce: Oh, I tried to look this up and she was on Too Hot to Handle, The Circle, and Perfect Match.

Courtney: Wow.

Royce: So this is also something that you’ve been seeing, where networks are just sort of pushing serial reality TV show people around.

Courtney: Oh no… Oh no. We’re going to talk about that when we get to Pop the Balloon. I, I, I’m so mad about this, I’m so mad about this. So, yeah, you’ve got this recurring trope of don’t have casual sex, don’t do it! But I’m gonna make it really hard for you. I’m gonna make you really really want casual sex, but don’t, don’t do it, don’t do it! And then you’ve got this trope of people who are allegedly here trying to find the one. And then, what do they do? But on the weird allo reality show they play one of the weird allo party games. Because of course they do. They literally play Spin the Bottle.

Royce: Was that the only one? Because I think I was within earshot when they started that.

Courtney: I don’t even know.

Royce: I was like, “Oh, of course…”

Courtney: Of course! Because, of course, they do. But this Spin the Bottle wasn’t the person the bottle lands on you kiss them or whatever. This, no, because this is dating after dark! So instead they had a tube of whipped cream that they had to like put somewhere on their body and have the other person lick it off of them. Because, yes, this is what you do with a group of horny, sexy people that like to have casual sex when you’re trying to tell them don’t do it, don’t have that casual sex. So, yeah, they always have these weird allo party games on the weird allo reality shows. But at least, at the very least – because I’ve raised issues of consent about games like this in settings like this in the past – at the very least, Spicy Mari, who brought them this little gift basket of a bottle and whipped cream, had a little note that did say like remember to ask for consent.

Courtney: So it’s like, all right, I guess that’s a little better than some of the other shows have been, I suppose.

Courtney: But the thing about that was even like, several episodes later, several episodes later, one of the prospective couples got in a bit of a fight about that. Where he told the woman that seeing another man lick whipped cream off of you gave me the ick. Even though he also had someone lick whipped cream off of him.

Courtney: It was only an issue when she had it, of course. And we can’t talk about the ick for too long, because we’ve already decided that this very concept is going to be its own episode at some point. But it’s become such a pervasive thing where now, if you say the ick, people know theoretically what that means. I don’t personally understand it. It’s not something I have ever felt. It’s not something I don’t think I can feel, at least not in the way people describe it as. And as soon as he was like, “Yeah, you gave me the ick,” then this woman is like it’s over and she’s upset, she’s devastated. But she’s like, “I don’t know how you can come back from giving someone the ick. Once you give them the ick, it’s over, it’s done.”

Royce: That’s what people say.

Courtney: That’s the nail in the coffin. There’s no coming back from the ick. And it’s like, yeah, I may be fundamentally lacking something that allows me to, like, personally empathize with the ick, but seeing another guy licking whipped cream off of the girl that you are sleeping with or trying to sleep with or have previously slept with, but are now theoretically trying to have a romantic relationship with, are we sure that’s just not jealousy?

Royce: Yeah. I think the ick has become a concept that just sort of glosses over whatever internal struggles the person has that they need to try to look at and deal with, and does so in a way that people can say, “Well well, this happened and there’s nothing we can do about it, so time to move on.”

Courtney: Yeah, it’s interesting and that’s why it’s going to be its own episode. But like to me that, just in this context, that feels very, very possessive. ’Cause like, my guy, you did it too, you were also there, you were both participants in this weird allo party game. But yeah, as soon as she said that, like as soon as he said that, she fully understood that, like, well, that’s the– that’s the death knell, we’re– we’re done, wrap it up.

Courtney: And like, the stakes in this game are so weird. And that’s another thing I’ve talked about with the like, specifically sex related shows. Because there are the romance shows like Love is Blind, and then there are the sex shows like this one. And in things like Love is Blind, like, yeah, the stakes are like we might be getting married this is a big life choice by the end of this.

Courtney: But this one, the only tension is people being scared they’re gonna get sent home. But they only get sent home if they aren’t seeing anybody. And so, like, if you aren’t actually feeling it with any of the people here and they’re not feeling it with you and you haven’t started dating someone, like yeah, go home, your person is not here. If, in fact, you are even here to find your person, as you are alleging, all of them were, but they’re all like, “I don’t want to go home! I have– I am so nervous because I haven’t found anyone, but I don’t want to go home!” Like, what is this stake? Why am I, the audience member, supposed to feel anything for these people on a reality show who just don’t want to stop being on the reality show?

Courtney: But yeah, there were a lot of guys who were just absolutely awful and disrespectful here. There was a woman who was, like, talking about her past and she’s like, “Oh, yeah, I’m a dancer.” And he’s like, “Oh, you’re a dancer.” And let me tell you, as an asexual dancer myself, men, fucking cut it out, stop it. She’s like, “Yeah, I danced my – you know – entire life growing up. I did tap, jazz, ballet.” And he added, “Stripper pole.” As she’s listing the genres of dance that she did. I was so mad because I know exactly the kind of guy that is. Stop sexualizing the art and sport that is dance. Because even genres that do have, or often have, an element of sexuality, like pole dancing, still requires an incredible amount of athleticism. So anyone making comments like that tells me you are not respecting the woman you’re talking to because you’re not actually listening to the word she’s saying; you aren’t respecting dance as an art form or a sport; you aren’t respecting pole dance, either. Not the genre she actually did or the genres you’re talking about because you are just thinking of this through the lens of sex and it’s gross. Just don’t.

Courtney: And that’s what drove me nuts, because so many of the guys in the confessionals were just absolutely being clowns. Like, they’ll say, “Yeah, I want to set my– I want to set aside my sneaky link ways.” But they make it so hard for you to believe them. Because one of the confessionals was literally a guy being like, “Yeah, this, this girl, she’s got a really great mind. Yeah, really great mind. You know that’s what I would probably say is my favorite part about her, her mind.” And then he would just start laughing with, like, a guilty look on his face. And it’s like, is that really necessary? And so many of them are just so emotionally immature, like they all pretend like this is a huge learning experience and they’re all growing as people. Which happens in all of these shows for some reason.

Courtney: Like one guy basically breaking up with a woman who he’s been terrible to was like, “This isn’t a fun conversation to have, but before coming here I would have just ghosted you, but now I’m learning and blah, blah, blah.” And it’s like, yeah, give me a break. If anything, the only reason you’re having this conversation is because you know millions of people are going to watch it and you don’t want them to think you’re an asshole. Plus, you’re also trapped in the same place, so probably producers are trying to schedule your big conversations anyway. But you also just literally cannot ignore the people that make you uncomfortable because you were shitty to them. And that is where I want to bring back my previous point about hosts calling out contestants for their nonsense.

Courtney: That’s how you know this is all bullshit, because this relationship expert, so to speak, never tells these people like, “Get out of here, go home and work on yourself, because you have issues and you are hurting people consistently. You have hurt so many people here because you’re doing the same damn thing to every single one of them.” It’s like one dude can string along two or three women and lie to them and say what he thinks they want to hear without really meaning it, and as long as he’s still maybe gonna make a deeper connection with one of them, he gets to stay. No! Any real relationship expert, like, worth their salt should be able to be like, “You’re not ready for a relationship. Do you even want a relationship? Because you’re not acting like it. So scram, get out of here.” So yeah, in any of these shows I want to see just once the host, like, publicly kick someone off the show for being toxic. Not even, not, doesn’t even have to be during a formal elimination. Just like, go up to them midday and be like, “Yeah, you got to go.” Or make it a big thing at the elimination dinner. Be like, “Yeah, I’ve been watching you and you’re not here for the right reasons. Get out.”

Courtney: Because this same guy who was just being awful to several people outright said in one of his confessionals like, “Once I go all the way with a girl, I lose interest and I just think, okay, on to the next one.” And it’s like [sighs] That is theoretically not an issue, if you’re just really honest about it and if you’re up front with all of your flings and just like, “Look, all I want is a one night stand, that’s all this is going to be.” From beginning. Set expectations. Fine, go off, have your fun. But instead he’s here trying to pretend like he’s here looking to settle down and start a serious relationship. And there was this one scene that I want to talk about because it made me profoundly uncomfortable. In more than just the usual, “I don’t like these weird allo shows and this is a weird premise and people are being weird about it.” This was like–

Courtney: So it was two people. They were in bed under the covers making out, presumably at least partially naked, because, again, they have cameras in the bedrooms at night, so they’re showing people hooking up. Which is a thing a lot of these shows do. And dude, like whispering in bed goes, “Just the tip?” And she said, “No…” And then in a confessional, they have her cracking up. She’s laughing uncomfortably and she’s going, “What the fuck? Just the tip? We still say that?” And she’s like, laughing hysterically. And then it cuts back to the night where they’re under the covers and she just says, “I’m not joking, you don’t listen.” And he goes, “I listen.” And then that was the end of the episode. It didn’t show anything else about that night or that conversation at all. And all we see of them in the next episode is they have, like, a conversation in broad daylight outside where they seem to just mutually decide to go a little slower.

Courtney: But either last night was real toxic and they just glossed over that entirely, or the editors made an incredibly reckless choice to show only those couple of lines and nothing else. Like they made the choice to show what they did and only that. And I’m here like tearing my hair out, like what do you mean? This guy said, “Just the tip.” And she said no, and then she says, “I’m serious, you don’t listen.” That sounds like boundaries were, if not outright crossed. It sounds like he tried to cross them and the editors just put that in and then didn’t actually have like– And we don’t have the relationship expert coming in? Being like, “Now you two,” and also the audience and everyone else. Like why would they have that little teeny, tiny note playing whipped cream licking Spin the Bottle to being like, “Don’t forget to ask for consent.” And not draw attention to the fact that she just said no to penetration and then said, “I’m not joking, you’re not listening to me.” What?! Are you kidding me? They just left it there. Like, what the hell? And then they brought on an expert astrologist.

Royce: Oh, I missed that part.

Courtney: Does astrology even work on straight people?

Royce: That’s a good question actually.

Courtney: I don’t know if it does. [chuckles] And so they have this astrologist here, like reading everyone’s birth charts. And very near the end, so pretty much everyone is in some sort of established couple, and now the astrologist is telling them whether or not they’re compatible based on their birth charts and their signs. And again, just the immaturity of some of these people. Like this astrologist is reading the chart and saying, “Oh, one reason why you’re both compatible is because you both like to go deeper.” And then this guy just starts, like, cracking up because he can’t handle the fact that she just said deeper. And he was even like, “Stop saying that word.” Like, “I can’t handle it. It’s so funny. I can’t think of that word outside of any context other than sex.” Like, stop it, boo.

Courtney: And then the last episode is inviting friends and family to see if your connection is ready for the real world. Which also happens on some other shows. I’m pretty sure they did that on MILF Manor. And one of the moms of like one of the worst guys on this show– I want to call him a fuck boy, but I want to put this with the premise of, when I use that word, it is not someone who is just seeking sex and not romance. Because, as I said previously, that’s not inherently harmful. And I know there is a big stigma behind that word, because there are like aromantic allosexual people out there that will just be called a fuckboy, who aren’t doing the things that these guys are doing. Like when I use that word, it is not setting expectations, it is lying, it is intentionally stringing people along, it’s saying the things you think they want to hear. It’s just dishonesty in a way that’s going to hurt someone.

Courtney: So one of the moms, like fully slut shamed the girl he was seeing. Despite her outfit not even being very revealing when they met. Especially compared to some of the things that, like, these reality stars wear in shows like this. They often wear very revealing clothing, as is their right to do and should not be a problem. But what she was wearing was very tame compared to some of the things you do see on this. And she told her fuck boy of a son, the exact same one who was saying that as soon as he sleeps with a girl he loses interest and thinks on to the next one, she said, “I want you to teach her to be modest.” Gross!

Courtney: I don’t remember– He was probably wearing a shirt when he saw his mom, but he rarely was wearing a shirt. This fucking guy was rarely wearing a shirt. And his mom is like, “You need to teach that woman to be modest.” Absolutely not. I hate the guy, I hate his mom. And so talk about weird stakes, the whole time, the weird stakes is they don’t want to go home. The big final decision that they’re like, “This is a huge choice,” is to check out as a couple or to check out alone. Okay…

Royce: So by staying on the show, literally, the only thing you got was more screen time by making it to the end.

Courtney: Yes, exactly. So yeah. And at the end they’re like, if you want to check out as a couple, like, meet us in the lobby with your suitcases. So they do this super goofy thing where they’re standing here in the lobby with their little rolling suitcases, and the host is there, who doesn’t need to be here, and Spicy Mari is here, cause I guess she’s a relationship coach. And so they’re just so goofy, standing here with their suitcases in front of these two, being like, “We’re gonna check out as a couple,” and what? Just go back to your own individual homes? Like you, you are not getting married, you are not moving in together. I guess you can choose to do that after the fact if you want. But like, what does checking out as a couple mean? But then they make it so goofy, because if they want to check out alone, they’re like, “Don’t come to the lobby to check out as a couple, if you want to leave alone.”

Royce: You have to go out the back window.

Royce: Literally almost! [laughs] You have to sneak out the side door. So they literally show like one woman who has had it and is not going to be checking out as a couple. Like she literally packs her suitcase and, like, sneaks out the back door alone to get in a different car, as this other guy – who I don’t know who he was trying to fool – was standing there in the lobby with his suitcase, like hoping she’ll show up. And it’s like, I don’t believe you. I don’t. But yeah, that’s what it was. Check out as a couple in the lobby in front of the host and the relationship expert, or literally sneak out the back. It’s so goofy!

Royce: So then we have Pop the Balloon,

Royce: Which– That had a decent run as– what was it? A YouTube show?

Courtney: Yeah, it’s– They’re still doing the YouTube version too.

Royce: But they picked up a Netflix version in addition.

Courtney: Yes. I watched a handful of episodes of the Netflix one and I watched a handful of episodes on the YouTube one. A lot of people were very upset when Netflix picked this up in the way they were doing it. Because the version on YouTube had gained a lot of popularity but the cast was exclusively Black on YouTube. So some people were inherently upset with that when they moved it to Netflix and made it a racially diverse cast every episode. A lot of people, especially in the Black community, were like, “Why can’t we just have something that’s ours? Why do you have to take this from us?” People were throwing around the word like Netflix gentrified this show. And I can at least understand the like, “This was a thing that was ours and now it’s not ours anymore.” I can understand that concern.

Courtney: A lot of commentary I was seeing trying to look up different opinions on this was that it’s somehow less pure and less important than when it was on YouTube. And I don’t know that I agree with that. Because they’re both trash. [chuckles] They’re both trash. The thing is, I fully understand the racism concerns. Because in the Netflix show you straight up had situations– But, by the way, the premise for anyone who hasn’t seen this is just basically speed dating in a group, like they’ll have a lineup of people who all have a balloon and they’ll bring out a single person. And if you pop the balloon, you’re saying I’m not interested in this person or that person can pop your balloon if they aren’t interested in you. And they whittle people down through a series of, like, questions and answers that go in both directions.

Courtney: But if someone pops their balloon, the host actually asks like, “Why did you pop the balloon?” And [sighs] the answers we got were so baffling sometimes. For instance, there was a guy who straight up, like, kept popping his balloon every time there was a Black woman who came out. And he outright said, “I want a woman with light skin,” like a Latina or white or Asian. It’s like oh, okay, so no Black women. Got it. That’s not a good look! And those things didn’t get challenged when something like that happened, very often. Not very often. Like if someone’s outright like, “I want someone with lighter skin.” Everyone would be, like, [sucks teeth] “Okay…” And–

Royce: It seemed like the host was trying to keep things moving along more than anything.

Courtney: At least in the Netflix version there were a couple episodes where it seemed like someone said something out of line and she would push back on them or rib them a little bit, but that didn’t seem to happen every time. Like, sometimes it was as overt as, “Your skin is too dark,” which is baffling thing to say on live reality television. But even the things that you try to get around it a little more, like, you know, if a guy’s looking at a woman and being like, you know, “I like women with blonde hair.” Like, and sometimes people would be like, “Yeah, that’s okay, I respect that. Like, yeah, we all have our preferences.” But it’s like, uhh, I don’t understand it.

Royce: A lot of people would say either you’re just not my type, or would say like, occasionally you’d hear, “Oh, I’m just getting friend vibes.”

Courtney: That one was so weird! So many people said it.

Royce: But both– Sometimes you couldn’t tell what they really meant, but sometimes it came so immediately after a particular thing that was said that you could read between the lines there.

Courtney: I mean, if it was as a result of something that was said, that makes sense. Like you’re having a conversation with someone and someone says something you don’t like about them and they pop. Okay, sure, I get that. There were even some situations where, like, a guy would be really disrespectful to a woman and then they’d bring out, like, the next contestant after, because they’ll do like a few different rounds of this per episode, and I was like, do they get to watch or listen to this before they come out? Because, like that guy was just really disrespectful to the first woman. And like, would– I’d want to make sure his balloon got popped immediately, but I don’t know if they got to, like, watch and listen to what happened right before then. But yeah, I think there was a, you know, Black woman with braids at one point and a guy was like, “I don’t like your hair.” It’s like– Ugh! And he’d be like, “Everything else about you, so beautiful, so sexy. I just don’t like the hair.” It’s like– Fuck out of here.

Royce: There are a couple of weird ones too. I remember, I think, another contestant calling this person out, where more than one person, I think, was popping because of the clothing that the person was currently wearing.

Courtney: Yeah.

Royce: And someone was like, “You can get a different shirt.” Like, that’s not a big deal.

Courtney: Right. Some of them were very, very superficial like that. And so you’d have these very superficial things. Or like a woman would pop because like, “Oh, I just want a taller man.” And sometimes the man would be taller than her when she’d say that. It’s like, how much taller do you need? So I always think those things are interesting to see, where people draw the line so quickly. Because I have no such attraction to anyone in that way, so I can’t ever imagine a world where I’m judging someone based on looks immediately. But, yeah, the number of people who would say, like, “Oh well, why did you pop her balloon?” Like, “I’m just getting friendship vibes from you.” And so many of them would be like, “I feel like we’d be best friends.” No, you don’t. Nobody’s– nobody believes that. Why are you saying this goofy thing?

Royce: I think it’s just a variation on the you’re not really my type thing, which is just a polite cover for whatever thing you don’t like about them.

Courtney: Yeah, which is weird because people watching this show want to see a mess, they want to see a fight. So like, yeah, maybe you won’t come across as an asshole if you’re like, “Yeah, I’m just getting friendship vibes from you. I think we’d be really good friends. We would be– We’d be best friends, surely.” Like yeah, that’s nice, and that’s a hell of a lot nicer than the guy who’s like, “Yeah, I popped because I don’t like your nose.” Like geez! Sometimes like, do you have to be mean? My gosh. So yeah, and sometimes the pops made sense.

Courtney: Sometimes someone would say something that sounded, like, really disrespectful and lots of women would pop. It’s like yeah, they should have. That was, that was out of line. He should not have said that. Or it would be a lifestyle thing. Someone would be like, “Oh, I’m not a big partier.” And someone would pop their balloon and be like, “I am a big partier. I don’t think this would work.” Like all right, that that makes sense for speed dating, for sure. But things that bothered me were sometimes someone would get all the way to the end, because they’d whittle people down until there were two balloons left, and then they’d take them up and have a bigger back and forth to, like, make the final decision. And sometimes someone would, like, pop their balloon right at the very end and they’ll be like, “All right, why did you pop?” “Oh, because it was the thing he said like five questions ago, when we were all still in the big line together.” Like–

Royce: And they just weren’t being decisive, yeah.

Courtney: Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? There was one bisexual episode. And I will say, still trash. To me, better trash.

Royce: And that was on the Netflix version, right?

Courtney: Yeah, it was better trash. I liked it better. I liked the people better. Some of the humor and personalities were just things that I like better. Made more sense to me. I’ve always theoretically advocated for more bisexual reality show situations tentatively. But the– when I was hearing all of these claims that Netflix took the heart and soul out of this, it was actually a very important piece of social commentary before, when it was on Netflix, it was holding up a mirror to modern dating and exposing the issues with modern dating. And it was leading to all of these very important social conversations. I’m sure there are people doing react videos or video essays. I’m sure there are conversations happening on Twitter. But, like I watched some of the YouTube ones too, and so many of those were also so bad. Because even in an all Black cast there was a ton of colorism.

Courtney: I– very first episode I clicked on randomly to watch on YouTube, a couple of different times someone was like, saying no to someone dark skinned and outright saying like, “I like light skinned people better.” Like– Sometimes even dark skinned people were saying that. So it’s like, all right, yeah, there was colorism, so you swapped the colorism for racism, but there’s still, like, an underlying problem here that both shows are exposing. And you’d still have people popping for very superficial reasons or saying, oh, you know, I want someone taller. You’d also often have women in high heels who, in high heels, the man was like same height or even a little bit taller, and they’d be like, “Yeah, I want someone taller.” It’s like, take your heels off this– this man is several inches taller than you.

Courtney: But the biggest issue, which I will say is an issue, is that it seemed to me like on YouTube there were at least real people. Some of them were very superficial, some popped their balloons for ridiculous reasons, but at least they were just people. Netflix started bringing people on and being like, “This person is from Love is Blind. This person is from one of the island shows. This person is from–” And I was like, no! Stop it. I don’t give a damn about any of these people. Do we really need, like a Netflix reality show universe? No, we don’t. We don’t need a recurring cast of people. Especially when all of these are pertaining to love or dating or romance or sex. And, like they already failed in previous shows, you’re just gonna keep bringing them back?

Royce: That actually gives them an incentive to continue failing.

Courtney: Yeah.

Royce: That’s a career model.

Courtney: That’s what I’m saying. Don’t let this become a career model. This should not be a business model. I hate it so much. And then I started thinking like, they’re bringing on these reality stars and, like, most of them, I did not recognize. I think I recognized one maybe. And I was like, maybe people in this lineup have seen that show, or seen that season of that show that this person was on. They could easily pop their balloons just because I saw you acting terribly on this show and I don’t think we’ll get along.

Royce: I think there were some cases where that did happen.

Courtney: Yeah, that’s why. Why would you do that? If this is loosely based on speed dating, why bring people that might be recognizable? So that’s a mistake and they shouldn’t do it, and I think it’s better when they don’t. But I also noticed that some people would pop their balloons so fast, so so fast, and at least the superficial reasons, I don’t personally understand it, but they can at least like explain, you know, not tall enough for me. They have their own internal answer for why they did that. So many of them were based on a response or something someone said, but they popped really quickly, and after the fact got confirmation of what that meant, and they’re like, “Oh, if that’s what that meant, give me my balloon back.” And they would let them get their balloon back. And I was always so baffled.

Courtney: Because every single one of those times I was like, why did you take that statement and assume the worst and pop your balloon immediately? Why didn’t you wait to ask a question to clarify before popping your balloon? And that is just a way my brain always works. I’m always going to ask for further clarification because I want to get to know someone better. But I think there was a guy who was like, “Oh, I don’t want kids right now.” And someone popped her balloon, and she’s like, “Yeah, I do want kids someday.” And he’s like, “I also want kids someday. I just don’t want them right now.” And she’s like, “Oh well, if that’s what you meant, give me my balloon back.” Like that that’s not verbatim, but it was something along those lines. And it’s like– You’re– There’s a point where you get to ask questions back to them. Why not ask for clarification before popping your balloon? Because there were a lot of popped balloons based on just a real quick snap judgment, based on a misinterpretation of what someone said, which was very, very weird to me.

Courtney: And actually this was one of the YouTube ones. First of all, just people being disrespectful there. There were times on YouTube and times on Netflix where I was like I just want the host to get this person out of here, like that’s another time where it’s like I feel like the host should have the ability to just be like, “Get out.” Like you are being mean to my girls, leave. Next person, please. But there was one that shocked me so much. It was on YouTube. The women were asking this guy who seemed great in that episode. I think he was like my favorite person on screen. He seemed like a really nice guy. He seemed to have hobbies, interest, passion. He seemed very kind and respectful. And at first a ton of people popped their balloons just because they didn’t like the clothes he was wearing, and that was already upsetting. But then, I think, someone asked him, like, what’s your type? And he, like, kind of said like, “Well, I love all Black women,” or something along those lines.

Courtney: And– and people popped their balloons based on that. And when asked why, they were like, “You should know what you’re looking for. And you– you don’t really have a type. And I’m suspicious of that. If you don’t really have a type, and then you don’t really know what you’re–” And I was like, are you kidding me? And sometimes there’d be something like that. Also, if someone ever dared to say anything like, “Oh, I really like to get to know a person before–” blah, blah, blah. Or if someone would be like, “Oh, is this person your type?” They’d be like, “I don’t really know, I don’t really know them yet.” Then some people would be like, “That’s suspicious.”

Royce: That was one thing that happened really frequently, at least on the Netflix version. I’m not sure about the YouTube one. But after a contestant would pop and they would give their answer, the host would ask the singular person, “Do you think this could have worked out? Is this person your type?” You know, had they not popped. Were I in that situation, I wouldn’t be able to give an answer, because–

Courtney: There is no answer.

Royce: At best they said a couple of sentences. Most of the people like– I just walked on this stage a few seconds ago, kind of a thing.

Courtney: How should I know?

Royce: Yeah.

Courtney: Yeah. And I think that’s perfectly valid and reasonable. And I think there are a lot of aces out there that would relate to that. There are certainly a lot of, you know, demisexuals out there that would relate to that. But the level of suspicion that that was met with from other people, where they believe like that’s not a real thing, therefore, I think you’re being deceptive and you’re lying and I can’t trust you. If this is what you’re saying. Like please, I better not see anyone else come for demisexuals ever again saying this isn’t a real thing or it’s not really queer, it’s not really– Like, or this is how everyone is. Like no! We have proof on these reality shows, like, how much suspicion that can be met with. And I’m not even demisexual but I still– Like, I will never develop that attraction, even once I get to know someone, but I’m also like sitting here, like how am I supposed to answer any of these questions? What is a type? I don’t have a type. I don’t know this person. How can I answer that question? And to know the amount of suspicion that that would be met with is absurd.

Royce: I do have some amount of aesthetic attraction that gets wrapped into romantic attraction, but it still seems to be much more broad than what the people– like, much less selective than what the people on the show were saying they experienced.

Courtney: Yeah, it’s weird. It’s very, very weird to watch a show like this. So the thing is, though, at the very least, I think there is much to criticize about this show from pre and post Netflix. I think a lot of the people on there are weird. I think there’s still always a chance that any given person on here is not here for the right reasons. It’s odd because a lot of people would make that criticism like now that it’s on Netflix, it’s not going to be real, it’s just going to be a bunch of fake people. And they are lending more credibility to that theory by bringing on reality stars that have already been on Netflix shows. I think it would be better to just get people that aren’t recognizable. But the YouTube videos were doing numbers. Like, several of them were a couple million views, if not more. So at a certain point, that’s a popular enough show that there are still going to be people that just want their screen time in that one too. So I don’t like people pretending like that can’t possibly be the case for the YouTube one.

Courtney: But at least when comparing it apples to apples with a show like Sneaky Links, this one’s a little more palatable for me to watch. It’s still weird and I don’t understand it, and there are a lot of people that make very questionable choices. And I’m still trying to get my head around the snap judgments, the aesthetic judgments, the racially motivated judgments. But at least it is just speed dating. So, like someone comes on, it doesn’t take long for them to whittle people down. The speed is quick and you get several people per episode. And then by the end of the episode, next episode is going to be an entirely new cast of people. Whereas something like Sneaky Links, like theoretically you’re supposed to be invested in these people and you’re supposed to be invested in these relationships. And presumably they want the audience to either be rooting for people or, you know, picking sides in a love triangle, or getting invested in some way. And I just cannot possibly fathom having that in me for any of these shows where I get invested in any of these people. So at least Pop the Balloon doesn’t feel like they’re trying to make me invested in these people long term. It’s like this is the episode, this is the format, these are the people. Enjoy your hour of trash. Yes, thank you, I will.

Courtney: But, that said, a lot of people really love Arlette, the host of the YouTube one, creator of the show, one of the producers of the Netflix version as well. So when there is a beloved host, like lots of people are going to be upset when they pick a new one. On Netflix, the host is Yvonne Orjy, who’s definitely trying to bring more of a charismatic comedy sort of humor to it. So, just like they try to do with, like, Love is Blind or Married at First Sight, they try to say, “Oh, it’s a social experiment.” And I’ve got some quotes from the host of the Netflix version who says, quote, “It’s a social experiment. What is that thing that will make us pop so quickly? And if the shoe were turned, would we be so quick to pop?” Which I think is, yeah, one of the draws of this is putting yourself in a situation being like would I do this? What– How would I respond? Because even– even us, who do not understand why any of the people are making the choices they are, that’s the framework we’re coming from. We’re like, I couldn’t imagine being this way.

Courtney: But I also find it really hard because it goes on to say she sees every balloon pop as: “a window into our collective dating psychology, our expectations, our patience, or lack thereof, and our willingness to give people a chance.” And I just don’t think that the sample size is big enough or random enough. And like there are certain personalities that are going to seek out being on television too. And I’m sure plenty of people are also here very earnestly and innocently, but not everyone is. And we know that because some of them are already reality show stars from different shows. So I don’t even think that that’s fair to say for the YouTube version, which I do feel a lot of people believe that that one is just a little more honest, a little more pure. There’s still very certain personalities who are going to want to be filmed at all in any context, on any platform. There’s a certain personality that’s going to be okay with this sort of speed dating sort of format. And especially since the question is then like are you attracted to them? Would this person be your type? Why did you pop? Like there’s someone who’s going to have to have a certain amount of a thick skin, who doesn’t think they’re going to be hurt there. So there’s a certain amount of confidence.

Courtney: I don’t think it’s fair to take this little window into these specific people in this format and extrapolate that to be in any way indicative of the broader culture. Are there some things that are cultural? Sure, like, socially, women liking tall men has been a thing. Do I think it is absolutely worth deconstructing? Yes. Colorism and racism socially are things that also should be deconstructed. But so often in these shows, when issues like that come up, everyone’s all right, like, yeah, everyone has their own preference. Like, yeah, that’s just a dating preference. This isn’t indicative of a potential deeper, deeper social issue. They’re like, yeah, everyone has their own opinion. So the show itself is also not having this big social conversation that it reports to. And I think a lot of the fans also, like maybe the fans individually are having these conversations in comment sections and social media and YouTube and whatnot, but, like, the show itself is not having these conversations, it’s just presenting the scenarios.

Courtney: And Yvonne Orji also said that the goal of the show is completely pure. She said, “I personally did not sign up for the show for drama. That’s not my brand. We want to create a safe space for people to come on and find connections.” Is anything filmed for the masses safe, period? I don’t think so. I really do not think so. Like, truthfully, the only show that I think we’ve covered where I fully believe that everyone in front of and behind the camera was actually rooting for long lasting love was probably Love on the Spectrum. And, as we talked about in our last episode, that was a very different format from most reality shows and was documentary style. And, as we said then, not fully above criticism but did feel more like it was actually on the side of all of the cast members. But last little bit, because, as much as people loved Arlette, everyone can have their own host preferences, but there’s one bit of commentary on Yvonne that I saw several times that I have to bring up because it really ogles me out.

Courtney: Yvonne has been like on podcast, she has been out, she’s a comedian, so she’ll talk about her life a little bit. She has stated that she is 39 years old and she is a virgin. Great. Cool. To quote those t-shirts that you see at Christian rock festivals: virginity rocks. But I saw so many fans of the original YouTube version absolutely bashing this poor woman, sometimes even before the show started or very shortly after it started airing, saying we don’t want a 40 year old virgin hosting a show about love and attraction. And what could she possibly know about–? Get right the fuck out of here, every single one of you who used that as a reason why this woman cannot host this show. If you loved Arlette, fine. Just say you loved Arlette, but don’t you dare come for Yvonne saying she’s not qualified to be a host. She’s not even qualified! [chuckles] Oh no, that was from one of the YouTube videos I saw. This man started going off on all these women who popped their balloons on him, being like, “You’re not even qualified, you’re not even qualified.”

Courtney: And so there’s always this constant pressing question with the show too, because people say they like the honesty. They’re like, “Oh, I like the honesty. I like when people say what their preferences are and will pop because they aren’t attracted to them, and I like when they actually tell it like it is.” And all these things. And it’s like, do we actually collectively, as viewers, just really appreciate open honesty that much? Or do you just like it because when you say it to someone’s face directly, it feels a little bit mean? Is it just because that’s a moment that can go viral? It’s very memorable, it’s messy, it’s dramatic. Do you really like the honesty or do you just like the mess? I think it’s okay to admit that you just like the mess.

Royce: I mean, that’s the underlying point of you reviewing all of these shows, right? They’re painful to get through, but you put things on in the background that are messy frequently.

Courtney: But some, like Pop the Balloon, is a mess that I can actually enjoy for an hour. It will still frustrate me, but it will frustrate me in an enjoyable way. When I’m watching Sneaky Links, I’m like– I want to break my ankles. Can I just get the biggest rock in our garden and just smash my ankle bone instead of finishing the show. Like there is a difference. There is trash that I can enjoy and then there’s Sneaky Links: Dating After Dark.

Courtney: If you also have been forced to suffer the weird allo reality shows, if you have been burned by as many weird allo reality shows as I have been, then perhaps you’re in need of a little Aro Vera Gel. And boy do I have the MarketplACE vendor for you! Rosemarycat5 is a made to order Redbubble shop featuring a mix of artwork, often telling a story, created by an aromantic gay Jewish artist. And I am so in love with this Aro Vera Gel sticker. That’s why I got one of my own at one point. It’s got a little like aloe vera plant on it, it’s a little tube, it says Aro Vera Gel. And, of course, it’s in the colors of the Aromantic Pride flag. And let me tell you, I need such a soothing balm as this after suffering these shows. There are a bunch of other fun designs here. A lot of them are puns. There’s one that says: standing Bi. The bi, as in B-I, with the Bi Pride colors. And there is, in fact, “I put the romance in necromance.” Gotta love it. So definitely check out today’s featured MarketplACE vendor. That was Rosemarycat5. And, as always, links to find our featured vendor are in the show notes on our website as well as the description box on YouTube. You can also search the name of any of the vendors we’ve mentioned at theacecouple.com/marketplace.

Courtney: And wow, we didn’t even have time to get to our fourth show today. So maybe that’s how we start the next episode next time we talk about weird allo reality shows. But this was a goofy one. This one was somewhat of a subversion of the Weird Allo Reality Show trope. We watched the Dropout Game Changer version of the Bachelor. And boy, that was a ride. Two part episode, kind of silly, kind of charming. Still some weird allo nonsense, but in a far more palatable fashion. So that’ll be a little sneak peek for next time. That’s how we’ll start when we do part five. In the meantime, feel free to leave a comment if you know what other weird allo reality shows I should put on my watch list before that inevitable part five, because I– Well, I was about to say I fear I’m running out, but actually my real fear is that I will never run out and that they’re just going to keep coming forever and ever, and ever… And ever.